I Froze my Balls Off Last Night!

Someone had the Brilliant Fucking Idea to invite Old Man Winter back into our lives last night and let me be the first to say that I’m not real fucking happy about it. I mean for Christ’s sake this is Florida man. I live her for a reason. I am a pussy and I hate the fucking cold. Don’t tell me it doesn’t get cold here either. Florida doesn’t pussyfoot around when it comes to getting cold. It gets downright brutal here. My nuts climbed so far up my ass last night, it may take and entire Search and Rescue squad to retrieve them.

Then, if the cold weren’t enough to irritate me last night this fat, black, girl at The Kennedy (my favorite spot) comes up to me, on the outside deck, grabs my coat and asks me, “really?, really?” “Yeah really it’s fucking cold.” It was 59 ° in fucking Florida. So then she starts with the “so where are you from conversation?” yeah, she’s into me, but she has no fucking shot, so why is she wasting her time and mine and setting herself up for a brutal retaliation by challenging my manhood in front of my peeps? Hasn’t she gotten the memo, that I am not one in which to fuck with?

Well here’s where everything could have taken a terrible turn for the worst and by all accounts probably should have. 1 Freudian slip and your life can be over. What can I say?, I’m the Dirty Little Cuban whether I like it or not. Kramer, take some fucking notes here pal, your mistake was your attitude jackass, had you kept your composure like a comic should, you would have not sank your career with your little outburst. I have won over many a black audience whether it be Djing, Singing or Comedy, by simply staying in the game, keeping my cool and performing like a fuckin’ pro.

So I say to her “I’m from Florida, where the fuck are you from? Africa?” Seeing her jaw hit the bar, I immediately move in, continue my assault, and drive a stake in her fucking soul before she can process what the fuck I just said and make a God Damn United Nations Summit out of it. Afterall, this is my favorite spot and I wanna keep it. Now truth be told, I meant to say Antartica, but I was a little buzzed and my inner racist takes over once I drink on top of the fact that I generally don’t give 2 shits about social graces in general, but if you attack me, you’re going down, 1st in front of everyone, then on me. If you don’t believe that about me, wait till you hear the Pickup Lines that have gotten me the hottest ass I’ve ever had in my forthcoming book “Motivational Debauchery”.

My next question, “What fucking difference does it make?, if I’m cold, I’m cold and I don’t need your fucking input, but if you must know, I’m originally from California, but it’s been so fucking long since I’ve lived there that my body’s forgotten. It’s been like, like, what the fuck am I telling you for, it’s none of your fucking business.

Side Note: This girl weighed at least 225lbs. As a comic, I refuse to take the most obvious road to a punch line whenever possible. It shows a lack of integrity to the sport. I could have given her at least a billion reasons why my skinny ass was cold and she wasn’t but that would take all the fun out of insulting her.

Side Note # 2: When you insult someone Cleverly and Instantly they don’t get as mad immediately as they’re gonna get tomorrow when they replay the movie in their head, then they’ll be really pissed. I win twice.

Side Note # 3: Whenever you have the opportunity to make someone think deep and hard about being an ass in the future, jump all over it and ram it down their throat. They may still do it again, but at least they’ll take pause 1st. The world will be a better place.

South Tampa Douchebaggery Ensues at Jump Smoker Conc…Appearance

Call me a Prick, but I find it hysterical that the Jump Smokers chose the Epicenter of Douchebaggery for a concert if you can call it that. Hell they only have 2 songs. Anyways last night at The Kennedy they were there doing #2 in front of the very fucking people they were talking about.

Being a heterosexual male, naturally I wasn’t there. I’ve been there enough to know who goes there. Guys in Ed Hardy & Affliction shit with fauxhawks, sunglasses, trucker hats, you name it. Complete Douches. In fact Manliness is so far removed from the South Tampa scene that girls often refer to these guys as STD’s = South Tampa Douche Bag.

I have been planning to get a couple of white T-shirts and write “Not Hardly” on the back of one and “Afflicted” on the back of the other and wear them around the South Tampa night scene. Last night would have been the perfect opportunity, but then roid rage would have gotten the best of somebody and I wouldn’t be writing this story right now, I’d be filling out a police report.

Fuck Barbara Streisand and Fake Ass South Tampa (SoHo)

I’m only back 1 day and I am forced to address this cunt already. WTF? So I’m at my favorite Starbucks today in South Tampa (SoHo) the fake one and as I’m penning my masterpiece working title “Motivational Debauchery” when Barbara Fucking Streisand starts defecating over the once peaceful ambience that is my Starbucks. I immediately run up to the counter and tell the barista, I will give you any amount of money to make it stop or just hand me a gun now so I can kill you, me and everyone else in here before it’s too late. She laughs and volunteers to change the cd, no charge. Sweet!

About 2 hours later the fucking thing comes on again only this time it’s much, much worse. What could be worse than Barbara Fucking Streisand singing, I’ll tell you what. Barbara Fucking Streisand singing in French. I almost threw up in my own mouth, shit my pants, and broke out in a cold sweat, simultaneously. Luckily I was at the end of posting the comeback post above and made a run for it.

If you’re gay as most people in SoHo are; the ones that aren’t haven’t figured it out yet but we have, Barbara Streisand is bad enough, but why does it have to be in fucking French too? Cut me some fucking slack will you? Come to think of it, what the fuck am I doing in a gay Starbucks on a Saturday in the first place?

BTW - This is SoHo http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/SoHo

I’m Back Bitches!!!

I know, I know it’s been three fucking years and 1 day, I was the one missing remember. But who benefits here? You do, so stop your fucking whining. Where was I you ask? Good question. Where last we left off, I saw this God Awful movie you may remember me raving about “The Secret”. Yeah, the one where I went off the deep end; told everyone about, hell I burned copies for all my friends and family, I mean, I let them watch mine. Anyways that fucking movie single handedly ruined my fucking life.

Well paybacks a bitch and I’m not one to lay down and voluntarily get fucked in the ass. I plan to dispel everything The Secret teaches with personal experiences how my life went to complete shit after going down this fucking path. Don’t cry for me Mother Fuckers, I’m back, bigger, better and stronger than ever. If 3 years of The Perfect Shitstorm don’t make you funny, nothing will.

Honestly speaking I was the funniest person I’ve ever known 3 years ago; the Hands Down, Undisputed Heavyweight Champion of the World according to me and everyone whose ever talked with me. There was only 1 problem. My comedy lacked PAIN, because I somehow managed to make it that far in my life with almost no pain whatsoever. Since PAIN is the 1st and most important ingredient to truly brilliant comedy, it’s amazing I was as funny as I was, but now that I had the pleasure of a lifetime of indescribable pain and loss in a very short time frame Watch the fuck Out!!!

The reason I stopped doing Behind Closed Doors should be abundantly obvious to anyone whose ever watched that abortion of a movie, but for those who didn’t, here’s the long and short of it. The Secret basically states that whatever you think about consciously and subconsciously you will attract in your life. Bull Fucking Shit!!! I have been thinking about nothing but Orgies and Wealth for as long as I have been alive; consciously and subconsciously and although I’ve had my fair share of both, they are not commensurate to the hours of my life lost wanting them, wishing for them, pursuing them, dreaming about them… You get the point.

I have watched more Internet Porn than most people have watched TV & Movies combined in their entire lives. I even cancelled my cable TV & increased my bandwidth because they were taking away from my time with Internet Porn. Don’t judge me bitches, I am a man and therefore genetically predisposed to watching porn and fantasizing about it constantly. It’s not my fault and I claim no responsibility for it.

I have devoted myself to my number 1 goal and it is with that goal that I decided to make my return. I am a writer among other things but I really do love to write. The endless supply of writing on this site alone should be enough to prove that, but this site doesn’t scratch the surface compared to the amount of content in my Stand Up Comedy Journal or my forthcoming book with the working title of “Motivational Debauchery”.

Writers need to write and write often and although I may not feel like finishing a chapter or a page in my book on any given day, it’s fairly easy to write about something that strikes me peculiarly and in this incredibly fucked up world, there is never a lack of material; especially when you are armed with the worlds deadliest, military precise, wit and rage. Please don’t take my word for it. Read this site, listen to the podcasts and see for yourself. If you have the balls, write me, tell me you hate me, love me, whatever, but I will probably just use it against you.

Behind Closed Doors Radio Show # 38

The theme for this weeks broadcast – I’ve Discovered The Secret!
The theme for last weeks broadcast – Back To Our Roots. – Where Did We Go Wrong?

In this completely winged episode we spend a great amount of time discussing a very worthwhile topic; “The Secret”. What is the secret? I do the best job I can explaining what it means to me. Please listen to this episode to change every aspect of your life. I’m telling you, this is one of the most helpful shows we’ve ever done. Hell, it’s the only helpful show we’ve ever done and will probably be the last. I feel like Puking.

Then we jump head long into why my black friends can’t listen to the show, why I wake up with someone’s dick in my ass, how my dad explained the Birds and the Bees by sticking it in my mom’s ass, How do girls know I think their whores?, Why Positive Conservatism will always whip Negative Liberalism to death and shit down it’s throat, Why I hope we are attacked by Terrorists again, 2 Pac ain’t dead, but he should have been killed way sooner than he was, Treason makes a comeback, In a Pink Room with Beef Curtains, Titties in 08, We have the best Governor of any state, Have you ever hate fucked someone or Donkey Punched them?, I Would like to Donkey Sanchez Barbara Streisand, Pop and Politics Sucks, Gore is a Hypocritical Asshole, & Wasn’t Nigger Knocker a term when I was a kid?

Make sure you check out the Top 10 Things George W. Bush Can’t Be Blamed For This Week.

House Cleaning!
Call the show and be a part of the laughs. Our Skype name is behindcloseddoors and if you don’t use Skype, you can call us direct at 813-902-2345. The show tapes every Friday at 5PM Eastern Standard time. Start calling at 4:30 and we’ll get you on the show.

God Bless!

Check us out at www.dirtylittlecuban.com or on iTunes Podcast Behind Closed Doors.

If you’re gonna rob me of some of my soul by listening to this show, then Hate or Love us right now at rolando@dirtylittlecuban.com.

Vote for Behind Closed Doors at Podcast Alley!

Check out the Show, tell your friends about it, leave comments or email, listen together and argue about it.

Behind Closed Doors
EVERYBODY SAYS THIS STUFF; I JUST SAY IT OUT LOUD!

Behind Closed Doors Radio Show # 37

The theme for this weeks broadcast – Back To Our Roots.
The theme for last weeks broadcast – Welcome To The New Studio! – Things Should Be Quieter Here!

This week we revisit why Behind Closed Doors is slipping into the Abyss. We have started to take ourselves too serious and we hope to never do that again.. I kicked ass in my last stand up comedy competition and still lost since I’m not black or fat. I’m so tired of white guy discrimination. Why would anyone ever want to become a cop? Thank you Foley for some news not related to Iraq. We don’t know what we’re talking about. Welcome to the new studio. I can’t speak my mind in public and that’s total bullshit. Why am I muddy? That Damn Bush Economy! Weird Al Rocks! Amish Paradise! New Media is taking over! How comedy works!

Top 10 things George W. Bush commented On.

Behind Closed Doors Radio Show # 35

The theme for this weeks broadcast – Laugh Or Put A Gun In Your Mouth.
The theme for last weeks broadcast – Please remember 9/11 – it matters!

Our iTunes podcast page has changed. They change the look of it and also iTunes is now emailing me regarding advertising with them. I’m sure every podcaster get’s the email, but I like to think, they targeted us specifically.

Why do chicks keep calling, emailing & texting me, then I offer them some dick and they don’t take it. What do they want? I don’t call text or email them. I only respond to what they do. I will never understand chicks. They can’t possibly think I’m a friend; all I ever talk about is sticking my Cuban cigar in their ass. What kind of friend would do that?

My mom actually corrected me last weekend when one of my stalkers just mentioned above was giving me a hard time at the pool. My mom jumps in and tells me not to talk to a lady like that to which I responded when I find one I will act accordingly. Guy’s never take advice from your mom with chicks, they have no clue. Neither do I, but doing everything my mom has told me not to has garnered me a lot of pussy in my time.

So my ex wife is trying to kill herself and redecorate the house at the same time. Last week, she fell and hit her head on her dresser splitting it wide open and gashing voluminous amounts of blood. The today she opened the cupboard door in the kitchen, the cabinet with all the glass in it came crashing down on her head and filled every squre inch of tile with shards of broke glass. I told her, I get it, you want to redecorate, stop trashing the place.

I went to see World Trade Center last Saturday night. It was a good movie, not great, but good. It was a story about 2 guys trapped in the rubble until they were saved, that was it. Nothing more, nothing less.

I had a client this week kinda backing me into a corner to work past 5 this past Monday and I was really immature about the whole deal acting like a baby and being real pissy with them. It was my fault, I should have said no. No one should work past 5 ever, unless of course you start at 5 then by all means have at it. There is nothing more important than having a life in the short time we are here. I guess if your work is your passion then maybe, but everything needs balance.

9/11 The Path To Clinton Revisionism!

So ABC puts out this movie about 9/11 that Clintons lawyers demand get pulled before airing since some of the responsibility of our nations worst disaster might fall on his shoulders. Did it really take a movie of the week to expose this? Was any President in our history friendlier with terrorist nations and leaders than Mr. Clinton? I think not.

No one argues that the attacks of 9/11 took at least 10 years to plan and Clinton was at the wheel for 8 of those 10 years yet every ounce of blame falls on a man in power for 9 months. Surely, some of the blame has to be Clinton’s. It can’t all be GW’s fault, although as the event get’s closer to happening, someone could have stopped it.

It’s also no secret that the Police, FBI and CIA didn’t share information during the Clinton era which could have saved us all from the events of 9/11. Will this movie change anything? No. Bill Clinton and his disciples will die thinking he was the best president the world has ever seen, no matter what. It’s crucial to hold on to the past, when the future is better than your glory days.

It’s like all of us remembering what we were like at seventeen. I had hair; I could dance, and used to fuck several bitches daily like a porn star on red bull. Now I have no hair, would break a hip while dancing and don’t remember what a pussy looks like.

Why Can’t My Show Be Responsible For Someone Killing Themselves? Talk About A Ratings Boost!

Nancy Grace (a TV talkshow host) is taking heat for grilling the mother of a missing child who ended up shooting herself a day after the show. This has I’m guilty written all over it. My prediction off the top of my head is she killed or sold her little girl for money. Her family of course blames the suicide on the heat from the media. If you didn’t agree to appear on Nancy Grace’s show you wouldn’t have gotten grilled. If you didn’t do anything wrong, you would have told her to get fucked.

Now your daughter is gone and you can’t help her or anyone concerned for her well being because you took the absolutely most selfish approach to any problem. I have tried for years to get people to kill themselves, bad neighbors, bad bosses, the dickhead that killed my brother-in-law, assholes in general and nothing. Give me a nationally syndicated talk show, I’ll have mother fuckers jumping off bridges at an astonishing rate. I can do it!

While we’re talking about suicides, how about these weak minded, stupid teenagers that are going to pro-suicide web sites looking for answers. I got your answer. First kill the uninvolved, useless always on vacation parents that let you surf pro-suicide web sites in the first place and never sit down with you to gauge if your normal or Columbine. I ask my son every day, so how are you doin’, everything goin’ alright, everything cool, did anything piss you off today, want to talk about it?

Parenting is a full time fucking job. If you’re not up to it, castrate yourself and stop fucking the world up with these mental defectives.

Death Of A President And A Nation.

So Democrat porn came out this week in the form of Death Of A President where G.W. get’s killed by an assassins bullet. I don’t think a sitting President has ever been killed in a movie. That just tells me that times are continually getting worse and somehow people have less respect for George Bush than for Bill Clinton. I don’t really know how that happened but I could do a whole show on that.

Let’s pretend that George W. Bush is killed, then what? What person is going to step up to do what they think will save our nation from crazy fuckers who want us all dead and do what they believe will accomplish that in spite of what the media thinks. I heard in a movie this week that “a man sticks up for himself and a leader sticks up for those who can’t stand up for themselves”. Time will tell if Bush was right or wrong, for now, there aren’t RPG’s going off outside my condo, nothing of any significance has happened in 5 years, and only 3 thousand troops have lost their life keeping the battle out of my backyard.

My 8 year old son has no idea that 9/11 happened and that there are troops fighting to keep it that way. We are at war and our lives are perfectly normal. If that doesn’t speak volumes about America and our President, I don’t know what does.

God Bless America in spite of itself.

Do My Eyes Deceive Me? Is There Actually A Printed News Story About The Bad Guys Getting Killed And The Good Guys Doing The Killing?

A U.S. Embassy in Syria was attacked with guns and bombs and not a single American life was lost. That may not be anything out of the ordinary. What is out of the ordinary is the fact that Syrian police are the ones responsible for saving American lives. Who saw that one coming? Not me, but then again, I ain’t all that bright.

Even better, 3 out of 4 of the terrorist were killed in the attack and the fourth is in custody. That is fucking cool. No all we have to do is televise the continual shocking of this dirt bags balls rendering him useless to the 40 virgins he did all this shit for. I volunteer for the job of head ball shocker. If given the opportunity, I would burn clean, the balls of our enemies until ball juice ran through the streets like a river. Or something like that.

How Could This Possibly Have Been The Second Warmest Summer Ever On Record? How Could # 1 Be In 1936? What About SUV’s And George Bush?

That’s right folks, not only were there not SUV’s in 1936, but the first car manufacturers were French, not American. How can this be? It goes against everything the Wish tells me. It goes against the evil SUV’s. It goes against my dad. My dad is currently looking to buy an SUV and he tells me that people left and right are getting rid of their SUV’s. I guess that would be easy to believe when your looking to buy on and the Wish keeps telling us over and over how bad everything is and that the price of gas will be the end of us all.

I tried to explain to him, that getting rid of my SUV has never crossed my mind, neither has the price of gas or how much it cost to fill my tank. You know why? I can’t do shit about it. I only try to give thought to things within’ my power to change. The price of gas would classify as something out of my control. None of my friends have ever talked about getting rid of their SUV’s or trucks either. Now I must admit, that most of the people I associate with are not broke, whoa is me losers who have no business owning an SUV in the first place and that may be the reason I feel the way I do.

I have been saying the same thing for as long as I remember about the price of things in this world, “all I can do is make more money”. It’s just like my trips to Vegas where I spend a grand on strippers. Every time I go back, there more expensive or I just want more, I don’t know, the point is every trip has cost more than the last. All I can do is make more money.

Behind Closed Doors Radio Show # 34

The theme for this weeks broadcast – Please remember 9/11 – it matters...
The theme for last weeks broadcast – Where The Hell Has Behind Closed Doors Been? – It’s been way too long!

My son may be retarded. I was trying to help him with his math homework yesterday, something I can barely do myself and he’s sitting there like he’s never seen a math problem in his whole life.

I’m getting too busy to follow my dreams. That’s fucking bullshit.

My car has now officially been hit 6 times in 2 years, 4 of which I wasn’t even in the car. What the fuck. Who would have guessed the idiot that hit me had no insurance?

How come I always want to buy shit out of season?

I had to get my condo painted 3 times when I finally got someone who wanted the money.

Another chick that doesn’t know what a spinner is. Her man actually told her that calling her a nincompoop is a pet name, but me calling her a spinner is derogatory.

What makes you think I give a fuck about you and you’re boyfriend? If I had a dime for every time a girl tried to convince me I wouldn’t hit it, I’d be a rich as Jeda. What is that all about? As a guy I tell you right up front, yes I will and want to fuck you.

Tedd’s Mild Cardial Infraction – What the hell happened? - Do you remember what you said to me last week at your party right before we walked back into your house.

Tedd, why has my singing never gotten me laid?

The 5th year anniversary of 9/11 is 3 days away have you seen World Trade Center yet?

House Cleaning!
Call the show and be a part of the laughs. Our Skype name is behindcloseddoors and if you don’t use Skype, you can call us direct at 813-902-2345. The show tapes every Friday at 5PM Eastern Standard time. Start calling at 4:30 and we’ll get you on the show.

God Bless!

Check us out at www.dirtylittlecuban.com or on iTunes Podcast Behind Closed Doors.

If you’re gonna rob me of some of my soul by listening to this show, then Hate or Love us right now at rolando@dirtylittlecuban.com.

Vote for Behind Closed Doors at Podcast Alley!

Check out the Show, tell your friends about it, leave comments or email, listen together and argue about it.

Behind Closed Doors
EVERYBODY SAYS THIS STUFF; I JUST SAY IT OUT LOUD!

Why Are We Allowing Anyone From Iran To Speak In The U.S. Without A Gun In Their Mouth And A Jewish Cock In Their Ass?

First we have the Ex President form Iran scheduled to speak at Harvard on the fifth anniversary of 9/11 and the current douchebag of Iran scheduled to speak at the General Assembly of the world body on September 19. What the fuck is going on here? Has everyone in charge of everything lost their fucking minds?

Of course the dipshits at Harvard say that open dialogue is necessary. Unless theses cocksuckers hear from us that we will gladly kill ourselves, their not really interested in any dialogue. When has dialogue ever solved anything? Most people leave a disagreement thinking exactly what they thought before saying a thing.

Think about it. You meet a hot girl and think she’s a slut. You spend some time talking with her in church and realize she’s still a slut. Don’t get me wrong, you will still giver here the pipe, but a slut she will always be in your mind especially if she laughs at the size of your dick. Then she’ll be on the all time biggest slut list.

I’m, Gay For Newt.

Newt Gingrich recently penned an 11 step plan that he and I both believe will save the fucked up, misguided, lost republican party before it’s too late and our nations prosperity disappears for a while or maybe forever. Due to a lck of time I will only read the steps and ask that you get off your fat ass and look it up for yourself and read the whole thing. It’s worth it, believe me.

Step number 1 – Make English the official language of Government.

2. Control the borders.
3. Keep God in the Pledge.
4. Require a voter ID card
5. Repeal the death tax for good.
6. Restore property rights
7. Achieve Substantial energy independence
8. Control spending and balance the budget
9. Tie education funding to teacher accountability
10. Defend America from the irreconcilable wing of islam.
11. Focus on Iran and N. Korea

I don’t want to keep having to point this shit out to you people time and time again, but Behind Closed Doors has covered just about every topic on this letter from Newt in great detail and I’m not a politician, news anchor or even smart for that matter. I’m just an ordinary guy that pays attention.

Please, please do the same yourself or start learning Arabic right now. Pretty soon we’ll all be saying “Welcome to 7-11” except they’ll change the name to 9-11.

Crikey, What the Fuck God?

Is heaven in need of a crazy Australian who plays with the most dangerous animals in the world because that’s the only explanation I can give for a stingray killing one of the most passionate people I’ve ever seen. This guy loved life and loved his job and when that job is saving animals, how fucking cool is that?

I always knew he would die doing this job, I just never thought it would be from a stingray. I had a great white shark or crocodile in mind. Afterall it would make for way better footage. My mom knows I watch a lot of animal planet with my son and that’s how I found out. She called to tell me and I was a bit affected.

I was just telling a friend last week that I don’t usually give a shit when a total stranger dies. There’s not enough hours in the day to have sympathy for everyone and everything that’s fucked up so years ago, I just decided to worry myself with people I know. Here’s the strange thing. I don’t know Steve Irwin at all, but I can relate very much to his personality.

I am a kid that never grew up and so was he. I feel like I knew him and I think it totally sucks that a guy that cool can die from some bullshit like that. Today also happens to be the 3 year anniversary of my brother-in-laws death, one of the coolest people I’ve ever know in my entire life taken away way too early over some bullshit.

Only the good die young, you evil bastards seem to live forever and fuck you for that.

ABC, You Fucked Up. You Should Have Asked Michael Moore To Make Your Path To 9/1 Movie!

There’s only one person on earth who has poetic license to create pure crap fiction movies and present them as fact with no repercussions whatsoever. We all know that piece of shit as Michael Moore and all you had to do was promise him enough food to feed his fat lying ass for the duration of the filming.

Why is everyone so bent out of shape? Is it because this film might make the immortalized Bill Clinton look like a fuckup or someone who dropped the ball? And speaking of dropping the ball, the film apparently gives you the impression that Clinton was too concerned worrying about Monica Lewinsky to catch Bin Laden. I honestly don’t believe Clinton worries about anything ever.

If anyone was obsessed with Monica Lewinsky, it’s the same body usually over invested in all of the irrelevant information of the world. The Wish Media. They will be the death of us all by continually keeping our focus centered on everything that doesn’t matter.

Where’s My God Damned Scoreboard?

Iraq took over control of its own military just the other day. A pretty big accomplishment considering how many people have been calling us occupiers since this war began. Funny, there’s not much about this on the news. How is it that every time you demand the President or the military do something you’re standing on top of a mountain pounding your chest and screaming your lungs out like Tarzan, yet every time your demands are met, you’re nowhere to be found.

I’m gonna go out on a limb here and guess the reason is that you don’t really care about the outcome of whatever it is you are bitching about at that moment, you just need a drum to beat and as long as no one on your side get’s caught in the crossfire it’s all good.

Behind Closed Doors Radio Show # 33

The theme for this weeks broadcast – Where The Hell Has Behind Closed Doors Been? – It’s been way too long!
The theme for last weeks broadcast – Why Bother Being Right? – It’s too much work.

In this extremely Anti-Semitic episode Jeda visits a porn conference and manages to only fuck his girlfriend. What was the point of going again? Chino – a childhood friend (hood being the operative word) joined us to expose my checkered past. The Dirty Jew Bastard calls in and goes on a rampage. Man, he’s one angry Jew. This was quite possible the worst show we’ve ever done and we apologize in advance. There are some funny parts, but they are far apart and why is Jeda so fucking serious?


Quotes!
“I’m all for pullin’ out just not in a war. Can we start testing in Iran?” – Rolando

“I got my niggers mixed up”. - Rolando

“That was a nigger fauxpaux”. - Rolando

“I wish I was the one nailin’ Jesus to the cross”. – Dirty Jew Bastard

Revelations!
The Show Bit!

Scorched Earth Top 5!
No Dirty little Mexican this week. Maybe he crossed the border.

Inventions and Creations!
We invented a Crappy Episode

BCDictionary!

Observations & Other Shit!
Our Porn Names and where they originated.

Cognito – The Big Whad

Jeda – Jeda

Rolando – Cockman


How much cum does it take to fill a pool?

Our cum tastes like:

Rolando - Warm Milk or Salty

Jeda – Salty (after much hesitation). I’m starting to wonder if he’s ever gotten head.

Cognito – Bad vodka


Have you ever cum in a chick’s eye?

Have you ever cum on a chick and they got mad?

Have you ever had a chick blame you for not being able to shit right for a week after you hit it?


Distance – you guys got a record? I have like 8 feet myself and you?

Cognito – Ceiling

Jeda – Over chick length.


Whacked Teacher of The Week!

Useless Study of the Week!

Myspace Is Responsible For All That Is Evil On Earth!

You Tube Is Responsible For All That Is Evil On Earth!

Top 10 Things George W. Bush Can’t Be Blamed For This Week!

House Cleaning!
Call the show and be a part of the laughs. Our Skype name is behindcloseddoors and if you don’t use Skype, you can call us direct at 813-902-2345. The show tapes every Friday at 5PM Eastern Standard time. Start calling at 4:30 and we’ll get you on the show.

God Bless!

Check us out at www.dirtylittlecuban.com or on iTunes Podcast Behind Closed Doors.

If you’re gonna rob me of some of my soul by listening to this show, then Hate or Love us right now at rolando@dirtylittlecuban.com.

Vote for Behind Closed Doors at Podcast Alley!

Check out the Show, tell your friends about it, leave comments or email, listen together and argue about it.

Behind Closed Doors
EVERYBODY SAYS THIS STUFF; I JUST SAY IT OUT LOUD!

Behind Closed Doors Radio Show # 32

The theme for this weeks broadcast – Why Bother Being Right? – It’s too much work.
The theme for last weeks broadcast – What Chicks Don’t Know – It’s a long, long list!

In this episode we welcome back Samantha Jennings Porn Star To The Poor, review last weeks show, and test if chicks i.e. Samantha really doesn’t know this shit. We missed out Dirty Sanchez last week. Beer burps run rampant on the show. Dirty is whining about his homework assignments. Listen to the Jeda cock block every time Samantha is on the show – stop trying to overcompensate, damn! Rolando ran on way too much trying to explain why Behind Closed Doors is the best fucking radio show anywhere.

Quotes:
“The only way I could get a good laugh right now is if I saw one of those Katyusha missiles hit Anderson Cooper”. – Dirty Little Mexican.

“There shittin’ in our food”-Jeda.

“I told you I got big plans for tonight” - Samantha Jennings.

“NASA can’t launch a peanut into space for under 45million dollars”- Jeda.

“He looked down and there was a cock in his ass and he discovered he was gay” – Rolando.

“If it isn’t brown, it’s not goin’ down”-Rolando.

“You know I’ve realized who in the formula of this show who Collin is, Ed McMahon” – Jeda.

“That’s where ten guys put their glue” – Rolando.

“She’s got some amazingly little fucked up things goin’ on in her head and I’d like to pull it apart and do the research myself” – Jeda.

“All guys will take any pussy offered to him” – Rolando.

“You can not blame a guy for taking pussy handed to him, it’s not his fault” – Rolando.

“Not only did you step on my turf, you shit in the yard too” – Collin.

“A bullet is 15 cents” – Rolando.

“Text who you want to die first, American Execution” – Rolando.

“I didn’t know a cuchi could make that noise” – Rolando.
He’d split you in half, but he’d love you” – Rolando.

“It came from the fucking stretch marks on the sides of your mouth” – Rolando.

“A black woman could have a pussy big enough to crawl into but because she’s got the black skin, it looks tiny” – Rolando.

“Fuck the homeless” – Rolando.

“Their eatin’ well, their balls are empty, life is good” – Rolando.

“I’m tired of workin’ for the mouse, fuck that motherfucker” – Rolando.

“Look motherfucker, you’re sellin’ balloons at Disney World, here’s 5 dollars, give me my fuckin’ balloon my kids gonna pop in 5 seconds and give me a God Damn smile, alright!” – Collin.

“Rolando’s actually a feed subscriber to the Gay Times” – Jeda.

Revelations!
Collin realizes he never contributes on any show.

Chicks hate each other.

Unless were talking about black cock, Samantha is out to lunch.

Everything is survival of the fittest.

We left Glazed Donut off the last show.

Scorched Earth Top 5!
The Dirty Little Mexican gives us the Scorched Earth Top 5 live from North Carolina. Not his funniest work, he seemed really angry. We lost him again. Fucking Phones.

Inventions and Creations
Rusty Sanchez: What happens when you mix a Rusty Trombone with a Dirty Sanchez

BCDictionary:
Baby Seal Club Sandwich – Made From Manatee Meet a.k.a Meef

Nigger From A Third World – Kofi Anon

Mad Crazy Person.

Observations & Other Shit

Hezbollah spelling Hell

Ragin’ Fred video on Fan Site

Clickable Jive Guy

I went out with one of those loud chicks with big tits that every chick hates on Friday night. Chicks fucking hate each other.

I went on the lamest date this past Saturday Night. Too many people, I paid the bill. Jeda talked me into, I knew better.

Being right all the time is more trouble than it’s worth. By the time I convince the idiots around me of the solution to any problem, I will have wasted more energy and time than I would have if I were just wrong in the first place and nobody ever cares when you’re right anyway.

I’ve contacted the Guinness Book of World Records because I believe I’ve set the record for the most comprehensive bullshit site of all time www.dirtylittlecuban.com.

Our Episode Descriptions are as close to an official archive as we’ve gotten to at this point. We work harder – I work harder, me and PJ work harder.

I can’t tell if PJ’s bitchin’ or just bringing it up.

Last weeks episode saw the Passion of the Jeda.

Best quotes from last week now available on the show description.

Whacked Teacher of The Week

Useless Study of the Week

Myspace Is Responsible For All That Is Evil On Earth

You Tube Is Responsible For All That Is Evil On Earth

Top 10 Things George W. Bush Can’t Be Blamed For This Week

House Cleaning
Call the show and be a part of the laughs. Our Skype name is behindcloseddoors and if you don’t use Skype, you can call us direct at 813-902-2345. The show tapes every Friday at 5PM Eastern Standard time. Start calling at 4:30 and we’ll get you on the show.

God Bless!

Check us out at www.dirtylittlecuban.com or on iTunes Podcast Behind Closed Doors.

If you’re gonna rob me of some of my soul by listening to this show, then Hate or Love us right now at rolando@dirtylittlecuban.com.

Vote for Behind Closed Doors at Podcast Alley!

Check out the Show, tell your friends about it, leave comments or email, listen together and argue about it.

Behind Closed Doors
EVERYBODY SAYS THIS STUFF; I JUST SAY IT OUT LOUD!

Has Anyone In Their Right Mind Ever Murdered Anyone?

Andrea Yates walks. Are you fucking kidding me? God, what the fuck is going on? How can this happen. I even heard her husband say at least now she get’s a nicer place and better food, not to mention at some time in the future she could be released for good if a judge sees fit. I swear to God I am living in a parallel universe where everything is the opposite of how it should be. It’s George Costanza the world over.

Where on earth can you gather a group of people that let this whore walk the streets? If she were a black woman, she would have been shot to death at the scene of the crime. If this were my wife, I would have killed her myself by shoving the bathtub she drowned her 5 children in up her ass, no matter how much force it took. Seems like a justifiable reaction to her actions.

I wish someone could please explain to me when anyone committing murder is in their right mind. I say never. If that’s the case than everyone who is committing murder is crazy and they all need to die. There is not 1 rational reason for allowing this woman to take another breath of air.

God, I’m begging you, take this bitch off the earth in some kind of prison, lesbian, broomstick, sodomy, torture that last at least twice as long as it took to drown her 5 children.

Running Low On Ammo During A War That You Started Is Just Poor Planning!

I want to take a second to read between the lines for those of you who aren’t capable of doing it on your own. All we have heard about the Israeli conflict is that Israel has used an inordinate amount of force overstepping their bounds, using way more force than is necessary and it’s not fair. Now we hear that Hezbollah is running low on rockets, poor little Hezzbolla. You should have that out before fucking with the Jews.

Anyone ever hear Richard Pryor trying to warn Jesus about the Jews. “I tried to warn the nigger I said boy don’t you fucking with them Jews without no money. Same thing goes for weapons, unless you’re bringin’ the heat, don’t fuck with Jews. They will kill you.

Now back to the reading between the lines. Whenever someone is accused of using too much force in a battle it’s because their opposition is getting their ass kicked, but that’s not a story since the wish has all it’s money on the underdog. Well this dog’s about to get neutered and with the help of shows like this, you will too.

I Can Think Of A Few Performances Other Than Piano I’d Like To See From Condoleeza Rice.

We all heard that Condi as those of us who have her on speed dial like to call her was off to the Middle East to try to come to some kind of resolution since G.W. told Tony Blair with a mouth full of food, she has to succeed. She can not fail. Well, she failed with diplomacy, but was able to impress some other people with her piano playing skills at an Asian Security conference.

I kinda had the hots for her before the piano thing, but now I gotta bone her or at least rub one out while watching the piano video. I know she ain’t the hottest bitch on the market, but that depends on what your definition of hot is. There’s only so many empty, mindless, shallow, insecure, double D’s a man can have before he reaches a breaking point, if you think I’m lying, why do you think men get married, so they can have only 1 piece of ass for the rest of their life, yeah that’s it. That and the no blowjob thing. If that ain’t good marketing, I don’t know what is.

There’s something about a strong black woman sitting naked at a piano, whistling through the gap in her teeth that drives me crazy.

Condi, I’m here and by the way, do you have any Cuban in you, you want some?

A Woman Claims To Be Related To Jesus & Mary Magdalene. Who Isn’t?

As if The Passion of the Jeda, The Passion of the Christ, the Davinci Code and a holly war weren’t enough to get your attention focused on God, this bitch comes out claiming to be directly related to the man with the best PR Agent in the biz right now. God’s getting’ mad press.

Simon & Shuster are not only publishing her book, they’re also dumping 250k in marketing on top of the 100k they gave her for the rights. I guess its good business to share her name with you just in case it’s true (Kathleen McGowan). Definitely want to be on the right side of this one, but just in case she’s not who she claims to be, I want to point out that every person on earth is directly descended from Jesus since he is the son of the originator of everything, except Jesse Jackson, Cindy Sheehan, Michael Moore, John Kerry, and Jeda.

Buck You Bush!

Even the mastermind of the conservative movement ain’t feeling you G.W.. William F. Buckley, who I believe is Rush Limbaugh’s hero thinks your fucking up royally killing any chance at a legacy you may have had.

Basically, he and I both think the war in Iraq is taking way too long because you’re only putting a half assed effort into it. Don’t attack a country without a plan for wipingit out with crushing, overwhelming force. No excuses!

Secondly he points out that you ran for office as a compassionate conservative. Why? The democrats have compassion sowed up, let them have it. A compassionate government doesn’t help anyone including those that need the help.

You are like a music artists that puts out an incredible first or maybe even second album, forgets what made them so popular in the first place, decided to discover new territory and slips into the musical abyss never to be seen or heard from again.

Stop fucking yourself in the ass and start fucking the enemy to include illegal employers.

Get your legacy back bitch!

That’s It; I’m Switching From Premium Unleaded To Starbucks!

Gas prices are at an all time high. So what. You want to help people, lower the cost while raising the quality of health care. How about not taxing me so fucking much to pay for people who continually make poor choices. I already have one child, I don’t need another. How about making it easier to employ people and let them get their own God damn benefits. I do it why can’t they.

Every time the price goes up a couple pennies the whole world freaks. If you stop going to Starbucks and getting a 4 dollar coffee everyday, I think you could use that money to ad at least 1 gallon of gas to your tank every day which would get you almost 20 miles a day if you have a newer car that’s not a giant SUV. For those of you that absolutely can’t stop going to Starbucks every day, just go, but poor the coffee in your gas tank.

Behind Closed Doors Radio Show # 31

The theme for this weeks broadcast – What Chicks Don’t Know – It’s a long, long list!
The theme for last weeks broadcast – What Would Reagan Do? – Not This!

In our most misogynistic Passion of the Jeda episode we dive deep into the Abyss of things chicks don’t know, a topic we will have to revisit till the end of time just to scratch the surface. I knew the list was long, but I underestimated just how long. Here are just a few of them for your enjoyment.

What is a Spinner, Fisting, Lebanon, Butterface, Summerteeth, Tramp Stamp, Snowballing, Plumbkin, Rusty Trombone, Scat, Watersports, Squirting, DP, DVDA, DVDADO, Golden Shower,

“Men only experience 2 emotions – Horney & Hunger – If you don’t see me with a hardon, fix me a steak” – Dirty Little Mexican,

“All we think about is fucking you” – Jeda,

“When we’re looking at you all we are doing is cycling through all the ways of fucking you” – Jeda,

“You’ve been holding you’re tongues all day, hold it another hour” – Jeda,

“We know you’re broke” – Rolando,

“You’re all whores” – Rolando,

“They don’t know that they don’t know” – Jeda,

And finally “How good my cock taste” – Rolando.

Revelations!
Jeda comes to terms with being a sick, sick bastard.

The Dirty Little Mexican gives us our FCC violation scorecard.

Vonage Sucks!

TV is dead!

Scorched Earth Top 5!
The Dirty Little Mexican gives us the Scorched Earth Top 5 live from North Carolina.

Inventions and Creations
Scorched Google Earth!

BCDictionary:
Negrocentric

Observations & Other Shit
President Bush (Shit)

Why do drunk people always come up and ask you to play 1 more song?

I have no intention of buying dinner or drinks for a girl who has no intention of fucking me and that makes chivalry dead.

If it wasn’t for the freak counterpart, there couldn’t be freaks

Heaven forbid you try to turn in traffic even if you were about to hit the pope, wrecked car, meteorite

Whacked Teacher of The Week

Useless Study of the Week

Myspace Is Responsible For All That Is Evil On Earth

You Tube Is Responsible For All That Is Evil On Earth

Top 10 Things George W. Bush Can’t Be Blamed For This Week

House Cleaning
Call the show and be a part of the laughs. Our Skype name is behindcloseddoors and if you don’t use Skype, you can call us direct at 813-902-2345. The show tapes every Friday at 5PM Eastern Standard time. Start calling at 4:30 and we’ll get you on the show.

God Bless!

Check us out at www.dirtylittlecuban.com or on iTunes Podcast Behind Closed Doors.

If you’re gonna rob me of some of my soul by listening to this show, then Hate or Love us right now at rolando@dirtylittlecuban.com.

Vote for Behind Closed Doors at Podcast Alley!

Check out the Show, tell your friends about it, leave comments or email, listen together and argue about it.

Behind Closed Doors
EVERYBODY SAYS THIS STUFF; I JUST SAY IT OUT LOUD!

I’m Getting Really Tired Of Predicting The End Every Week! Can't We Just Get On With It For Christ’s Sake?

You may wonder why I bring Christ up in this conversation especially if you’re not familiar with the bible as a good Catholic School Boy such as myself is and the other reason is for all of us to start praying if you haven’t already done so.

I’m not a big believer in worrying. It is the most useless emotion a human being can engage in and it never accomplishes anything positive since the results of what you are worrying about mostly aren’t in your control.

With that in mind I am a firm believer in praying, according to the Bible you should pray for what you want as if it’s already happened, the same philosophy shared by the most successful people on earth. In other words, walk through life as if you already have and achieved all of your dreams. This accomplishes many things; it keeps your dreams crystal clear and at the top of your mind, it raises your self esteem, and makes you a much more positive person. The most important part of all of this is walking by faith and not needing any evidence of success.

Why on earth would that be important and won’t people think your crazy? 1st off most people who are not achievers and dreamers think those that are are crazy, Fuck them, secondly in faith believing is seeing and not the other way around. Seeing is believing when it comes to life is stupid since most of the time you are incorrectly assessing what you are seeing.

At this point you have got to be asking yourself, ROLANDO, what the fuck is wrong with you, you’re going all Jesus on me. I am and I’m not. Going back to the Bible, the part of the world where all hell breaks loose and Jesus comes back is playing out right in front of our eyes.

The evidence for the End Of Times is all around us. Israel has decided to stop taking shit from its enemies and puttin’ the smack down to include killing innocent people who get in the way, which I wholeheartedly agree with. That will keep the next generation of assholes in check i.e. Japan anyone?

The U.S. again catching heat for something they have nothing to do with. People the world over are pissed at us for not pressuring Israel to stop defending itself and it’s land. Israel is not going to stop until it decimates its enemies. You can only keep a constantly taunted dog on a leash for so long.

Israel is fighting for its independence which any free nation should kill for. Another crazy leader is making illogical demands while committing atrocities, boldly in front of the whole world. The U.N. and Russia are screaming the same stupid message. Cease fire, but they’re talking to Israel, not Hezbollah (the bully that started the whole thing). They’re also claiming Israel is using too much force. This really bothers me.

When you’re in a war, how can there be such a thing as too much force. If warring nations brought out the entire can of whup ass from the beginning wars could be over in an afternoon instead of pussyfootin’ around for 10 years. Decide how many people you’re willing to kill in a ten year period, kill that many on day 1 and go the fuck home. It will save billions of dollars coast a lot fewer lives and we can all get back to watching porn instead of the president saying shit and massaging an old fat lady on the net.

Why The Fuck Is Anyone Not On A Suicide Watch List Living In Or Vacationing In The Middle East?

Let’s re-visit just for a minute if we could Darwin’s’ Theory of Natural Selection. According to Wikipedia ( listen to the show ) which is probably the single greatest cause of all the problems humans face. We keep bailing out stupid people, people not fit to breathe air so they and their children continue to do stupid shit and it’s these mental defectives that bring down the rest of us with the time, money and energy expended to save these morons from themselves.

There is no logical excuse to be camping out in the Middle East. NOT ONE! Then when we do bail you out, you bitch about the bill, yet Middle Eastern taxi drivers and gas stations are gouging people on a scale that makes U.S. gouging look like a joke. For the record, I think gouging is a great solution to the problem and it further entrenches my favorite pastime of all, Capitalism.

If you’re stupid enough to be there in the first place, I’m all for the taxi ride out of town costing 10,000 per person + gas, pre-paid of course. You’re other option is to stay and take your chances since you took them in the first place. My favorite part of the Israeli / Lebanese conflict is I finally get the score of the game. Israeli forces are killing Hezbollites 10 to one with a score of 306 to 29. That fucking rocks.

Let’s not forget bug fat pussy terrorist supporter extraordinaire, Omar Bakri who left Britain in March while bragging about getting a one way ticket out and never wanting to go back, until bombs starting dropping all around him. Now he’s pleading with British official to go back to his exiled home.

I did mention Natural Selection, Right. Go Fuck Yourself!

This Is Not The Missile Test I Had In Mind!

In response to the assholes in N. Korea, the U.S. claims to have successfully launched a Minuteman III missile yesterday. Funny, I just pulled up N. Korea on Google Earth and it’s still there. What do they mean by successfully launched? Obviously I have higher standards than our government when it comes to missile launching. I know, I know, the images seen on Google Earth are years behind reality, but even if they were 10 years behind, N. Korea still shouldn’t be there.

When I Google Earth a third world country that wants us dead, I want to see a giant hole. Even if it’s not real, I want Google Earth to show me a giant hole that’s still smoldering. Here’s the next viral web site folks, Scorched Google Earth. I guaranty the person that can make that happen will be taking interviews on all the major talk shows.

Just remember, I gave you the idea.

Roland a.k.a. The Dirty Little Cuban.

The Best Case For Pre-Parental Testing!

An 8 year old girl get’s raped in a park in broad daylight and police are questioning a man. They should be questioning and euthanizing her mother. This little girl way in a park with her 7 year old brother as her only protection from shit like this. Then the mother of the accused states it wasn’t his fault because he has mental problems. I agree and I don’t care. If you know your son is crazy and capable of hurting someone and you let him out with being chained to your ankle, you die too.

It’s so, so sad that the only qualification for being a parent is the ability to spread your legs or drop your goo. Why isn’t there a test? If you have mental problems, no kids for you, if you’re stupid, no kids, if your gay, no kids, if you have a criminal record, no kids etc… etc… etc…

The world isn’t getting any better with the current residents, stop making the problem worse.

Viva worldwide Uteral Removals!

This Is Exactly Why Our President Should Never Have Supreme Authority.

It appears that state leaders in our country have listened even if our countries top leadership has not. If you recall a heated discussion I had with Money Mike, also known as Sauerkraut in regards to the whole Katrina fiasco, I tried diligently to explain to him why our President can not and should never have supreme authority of the people.

States all over the country are passing laws or enforcing laws to prohibit education, healthcare, anything and everything they can to make being an illegal in this country not worth bothering with. It’s about fucking time someone did something. If we were the socialist dictatorship Mike wanted us to be, these steps could not be possible.

Thanks to our brilliant forefathers, they are, now get the fuck out you illegal bastards! You’re not wanted. Get a fucking clue!

Minutes Left For The Minutemen.

Why is it that almost every organization no matter how good it’s intentions are has some scum bags in it that rob it blind of money collected from good, decent people? You always have to watch the money, but more importantly watch the people handling the money and the Minutemen are no exception. An organization like this is too important to act like the government and loose money by stupidity.

Get your shit together guys, change leadership and fix the problem.

America needs you.

Yahoo Takes A Poopoo.

How does a company that dominates the marketplace in a fairly new medium take a dive and loose a bunch of cash? By being lazy. I can’t remember the last breakthrough in technology or service Yahoo has introduced and if you’re gonna be in the Internet game, you can’t last with that kind of work ethic. Yahoo is getting its ass handed to them by Google and Google will continue to destroy them if they don’t get a handle on the situation.

Yahoo, I know I’m no dot com billionaire; however you chose the wrong business to be sitting on your hands in. I like your cowboy sounding Yahoo thingy, if and when I hear it, but it ain’t enough. If I am ever fortunate enough to have something as successful as Yahoo, you can bet your ass I’m not gonna sit on mine, I will keep pushing forward to break new ground and be the best until I’ve decided I’ve made enough money, then sell it off to someone else so they can give it a try.

Pull your heads out, don’t just lay there. Every American enjoys a little competition, give Google a run for their money, I hate fucking monopolies.

Why Is It Necessary To Tell Anyone To Stay Out Of The Heat?

A so called heat wave hits Nellyville and people are dropping like flies because they’re too stupid to leave. The National Guard has actually been called evacuate people form their homes and go somewhere with working air. These people better be handicapped in some way shape or form. Why do people need to be rescued from everything? Why don’t they just get our on their own? Will personal responsibility ever come back to America?

These are the questions that keep me awake at night and that and why is my penis so small.

Chasing The Almighty Dollar No Matter What.

Microsoft, Google and Yahoo are not only filtering their content to please the Chinese government, they are also handing over personal information of its user which results in them going to prison. I totally get following the rules of a country in order to do business with them. I also get handing over information about its users if the government demands it. What I don’t understand is how you could sleep at night if one of your users got sent to a Chinese prison as a result of handing over the information.

There should never be cart blanch, blanket protection of internet users; these problems should be dealt with on a case by case basis; that way Al-Queda operating out of the U.S. could be prosecuted. There comes a time in everyone’s life where you have to decide where you are on an issue and what is the right thing to do. I personally wouldn’t do business with China unless an agreement to not filter the content were in place from day 1. There is no amount of money that would be worth it for me.

Believe me; I am all for capitalism, but not at any cost. If these 3 companies pulled together and pulled out of China simultaneously, they might not change Chinese policy, but they would set China back another 200 years. There are way more important things in life than money and the leasers of those 3 companies will find out when they die.

Remember – Jesus is watching you. Bitch!

Too Bad Bush Can’t Do This Shit.

This is funny. Venezuela’s government is claiming that their justice system is completely autonomous with regards to the wonderful Hugo Chavez’s submission of the press in order to push his agenda. 1st off, I don’t think you can believe anything that comes out of Venezuela. They do have hot bitches though. The best part of all is that our press loves a man that silences, imprisons and kills journalists in his part of the world.

I want G. W. to start whacking the press. In fact you know that game “Whack-a-mole”, I hope someone custom made a “Whack-the-press” game for him. I’ll get the bumper stickers right now, “If it’s not ok with Hugo, than you go” or something like that. “If you don’t like bush, than lick my tush”. I wish Americans would realize that being American or the President of the United States isn’t a popularity contest. You do what you have to do to move forward with a democracy protecting the rights and freedoms and liberties of all people. That is not an easy task and it pisses most of the world off.

Jealousy is a bitch. It’s good to be King, but it ain’t easy.

Behind Closed Doors Radio Show # 30

The theme for this weeks broadcast – What Would Reagan Do? – Not This!
The theme for last weeks broadcast – America – Why It’s Infinitely Better Than The Shithole You Came From!

In this episode the attorney up the ass torch has been passed from Jeda to The Dirty Little Mexican. Samantha-Pornstar to the Poor and Collin are MIA. The studio smelled a lot better for it. Why does The Dirty Little Mexican get all my email? WTF? We still have no sponsors. We do show prep so you and Glenn Beck don’t have to.

PJ “The Dirty Little Mexican” reviews our last episode. Now a part of every show.

Our first caller: Tony Montana calls from LA and has to run since the cops are after him.

Interesting Observations & Other Shit.

Review of last weeks show according to the Dirty Little Mexican.

News Flash! California’s on fire again.

BIG DIG Boston – when it’s your turn, it’s your turn.

Tantric – can you control your orgasms with your head?

Tony Montana calls in from L.A.

Rash of shit from client about my divorce situation. – Whatever get’s you through the night. Why do we have to fight? Whenever someone who hasn’t done or been through what you have gives you advice, run!

Democrat Congressional Committee commercial showing bodies of dead American soldiers in flag draped coffins, not 1 enemy dead body. America needs a new direction. Why?

Conservative T-Shirts

Girls walk tits first. Why? I see them. Believe me.

Man professed his love for me at a Karaoke party. Sang To Me.

Whenever someone is labeled down to earth its because they’re rich and happen to be cool.

Excellent listener email this week. They really get the show.

Tony Montana calls again after he looses the cops.

Crazy Cat People, Crazy Pet People.

Call the show and be a part of the show. Our Skype name is behindcloseddoors and if you don’t use Skype, you call call us direct from 813-902-2345. The show tapes every Friday at 5PM Eastern Standard time. Start calling at 4:30 and we’ll get you on the show.

BCDictionary:

And finally we also cover

The Dirty Little Mexican Scorched Earth Top 5.

Whacked Teacher of The Week

Useless Study of the Week

Myspace Is Responsible For All That Is Evil On Earth

Top 10 Things George W. Bush Can’t Be Blamed For This Week

And a bunch of other stuff. This was a great show. Check it out for yourself.

God Bless!

If you’re gonna rob me of some of my soul by listening to this show, then Hate or Love us right now at rolando@dirtylittlecuban.com.

Vote for Behind Closed Doors at Podcast Alley!

Check out the Show, tell your friends about it, leave comments or email, listen together and argue about it.

Behind Closed Doors
EVERYBODY SAYS THIS STUFF; I JUST SAY IT OUT LOUD!

The End Is Here! Finally! What Would Reagan Do?

You’ve heard me say in the past the end is near, well everything changed this week. It’s no longer near its here and I say it’s about God Damned time. You may ask as a father and a patriot in every sense of the word why on earth would I welcome the end. Mostly because I don’t believe it will be our end.

In case you’ve been living under a very heavy, dark, quite rock, the shit really hit the fan this week. Let’s review. A Bombay train was blown to shit, we’re still in the aftermath of North Korea firing off seven missiles at least 1 of which had the capability to hit US soil, Iran still has its nuclear head up its ass, terror plots to fuck up the U.S. are popping up like race cards, Everyone On Earth Hates America, Palestine fucked with Israel, always a bad move, meanwhile China, Russia and France are united in opposition to everything the U.S. says and does.

What Would Reagan Do? That is the number one question America needs to ask itself right now. We need an American séance to ask the greatest leader our country has ever seen since we seem to be out of options at least according to the Wish Media and democrats alike. I apologize fro repeating myself. It’s mostly for our new listeners.

America is never out of options, just out of leadership. It’s not politically correct to devastate your opponents and brag about the victory, so we do the most humane, costly, time consuming process to get to victory.

We are in the biggest game of our lives with the highest stakes we’ve ever seen. Sending a missile destroyer to Japan is a nice touch. Sending a nuke to North Korea has more meaning. It’s the difference between a run of the mill card and a Hallmark.

Gorbachev thinks he’s insulting us by stating “Americans have a disease – worse than AIDS. It’s called winners complex because we want American style democracy planted where are problems come from.

Sorry Mikhail, it comes with the territory.

This brings me back to China and Russia. I’m starting to think Jeda get’s his news from somewhere else. He keeps telling me every week, China and Russia are our friends and I just don’t see that. They hate us too.

Jeda, stop watching CNN dammit!

Finally let me tell you about France. There all pissed off because they think Isreal should just lie there and take whatever the Palestinians thrown at them. France, please begin government assisted mass suicides. That kind of pussy ass mentality has no place in the world we live in.

Did you hear the G. W.? Stop being a politically correct pussy, get your fucking boots, your buckle and your hat back on, and stomp these fuckers causing us all the problems out of existence.

Scorched Earth Anyone?

Hey Mr. Taxman! Are You Really That Stupid?

Bush get’s to brag and you get to be pissed. Wait, just spin it into something else, that way you don’t have to be pissed. Take Mr. Riedl for instance; he says “One hundred percent of the reduced deficit of 296 Billion Dollars is because taxpayers are sending more money to Washington”.

Well I can’t argue with that fact since all the people I admire in this profession declare th government spending under Bush is out of control.

What I can tell you is that I made more money this year than any year since starting my business and got a larger tax refund. No help me do the math on this cause I’m obviously not as good at it as you are.

Tax Cuts were put in place. I made more money. I got more money back. I made more money simply because my clients had more money to give me.

I guess I’m as evil as the government since my rich clients are getting richer and giving some to me so that I may one day too be rich. Now since I’m poor and getting richer how does that translate to the poor getting poorer unless your specifically talking about the poor that don’t work and sit at home on their ass until their government check get’s reduced or taken away.

If we are truly in our 18th quarter of economic growth, those rich bastards have to spending all that excess money on something.

If all this can happen a few short years after the dot.com bust, Bush must be doing something right.

Why is it so easy for me to figure out if you let me keep more of my money, I will spend more of my money, other people will benefit. You know for someone without a high school diploma, this all just seems so cut and dry.

If I want more money, I go make it. Period!

Where Have All The Cowboys Gone? Brokeback Mountain?

So Cowboy Diplomacy is dead. Is it dead because the Cowboy is dead or is it because the cowboy has decided to turn in his pistol and noses in exchange for a svelte vest that people are a little easier around?

Why would anyone spend their whole lives trying to be President of the United States and once they got their try too be everybody’s friend? President of the United States and friend to the world have never been possible and probably never will be.

Signing up for the job automatically puts you at the head of the most hated people on earth list. It’s part of the job.

Time Magazine, this week is essentially calling for the end of any memory of the Great President Bush this nation has been fortunate enough to see on some occasions. All of the tough talk and actions that have protected us thus far will be erased from the annals and the story will forever remain about the President who was lame for the last term. They will leave out any mention that you are doing exactly what they call for whci is what robs you of your cowboy status.

Nobody likes a team player as the head of the team. Every team needs a coach, a leader, the ball buster that gets the necessary results.

I guess I’ll concede and bid farewell to cowboy diplomacy. Do you think for one second North Korea could have launched 7 missiles unanswered if Reagan were in office? I don’t think so.

Phoenix, A Great Argument For A Well Armed Society.

Phoenix is under siege by two serial monsters as they like to call them. I prefer potential casket candidates. All it takes is a heavily armed populous to put this shit to rest quick and painful.

We have what is known as the Baseline Killer and the Serial Shooter. People in Phoenix are terrified. The police are stumped and blaming CSI and the like for placing false hope in the minds of the citizens.

As someone who has personally been a 1st hand witness to the wheels of justice, the wheels are fucked and rolling in favor of the criminals. Its amazing criminals ever get caught will all the bureaucracy involved in getting a scumbag caught and locked up.

You’re much better off arming yourself and shooting the fucker dead in the face until your gun is empty. Reload if you have to, it will be a much better story to tell your grandchildren.

Why Can’t Angry New Yorkers Just Kill Themselves Nice & Quiet Like?

Why is it that when people decide to kill themselves they have to take good people with them. Sure, I have a To Kill List just like any other decent American, but my list only includes people who have brought more harm than good while on this earth.

OJ Simpson, Jesse Jackson, Michael Moore, The Dixie chicks, I think you get the point.

This Asshole doctor in New York sets off to kill himself by blowing his building up injuring 11 other people, mostly police and fire fighters because he was didn’t want his ex-wife to get the building or the money from its sale. Why couldn’t you just kill her?

We have a serious problem in this country. A man who has busted his ass his whole life to achieve and acquire the things he thinks will make his woman happy only to lose it all in a divorce.

Until we start killing our ex-wife’s en masse, this problem will never go away.

Any man who is thinking of killing his wife anyway should at least blame it on the future divorce assfucking you’re going to get so we can get this bullshit turned around. It really is the fastest solution to this problem.

Lowest Bidder, Always A Problem.

Ok so Boston has one of the coolest projects running through it, invisible freeway. After all freeways are ugly and rip towns in half, often making one half of the town nice and the other half suck. The other problem this project really suffers from is the fact that the project has been over promised and under delivered from its inceptions. It has gone way over budget, in time and money and has had numerous problems all along. This lady getting killed is just the latest incident.

Now what do you do? You sue the company that built it for your money back and sue their insurance company and anyone else involved in this cluster fuck until the taxpayers tunnel is right and safe. Why the fuck would you use glue to hold a 3 ton panel suspended overhead. Didn’t anyone think this was a bad idea before this woman died? You could have welded the bolts in place.

Look, I’m not a construction company owner, but use some fucking common sense. If it cost more to do it right, bring it up, up front or don’t do the job at all. The city is considering criminal charges against the construction company. If a company is found to be negligent in its practices, it should suffer the consequences of its misjudgment, sued and shut down with the principles unable to start another company.

These kinds of penalties would put a screeching halt to this kind of negligence.

Plame Retarded. Sue Yourself For Stupidity, Wannabe & Greed!

The level of stupidity in the Valarie Plame case has no end in site. Scooter walks free, Bush untouched and for a second you think the story is dead and this publicity whore and her dumbass husband are off your TV forever. But Wait. Now she’s suing everyone in the Bush administration. Is it because they ruined her 100k a year job and handed her book and movie deals worth millions? Or is it just because she and her husband are publicity whores?

I think the later is more accurate.

I have no problem with publicity whores such as myself, after all that’s where the big bucks are. Fame. Just be honest about it. Stop masking it in some cause. Everyone know you and your man outed yourself. How many investigations is this gonna take. The last thing the world needs is another Cindy Sheehan.

Cindy Sheehan= acting like your fighting for something other than 15 minutes.

Fuck all of you wannabe assholes.

Viewers Choice. Big Media Out!

The American public has spoken and the results are not so good. Many things are happening simultaneously to bring Big Media to its knees. They suck, their programming sucks, their talent pool sucks, the internet often provides way more entertaining content commercial free, and the average person is generally a lot more interesting than the average celebrity.

Thanks to reality TV, we get to see for the first time how entertaining Joe Average American can be. People like to be able to relate and who the fuck can relate to Tom Cruise or any other self righteous whack job scientologist?

Not me, thank God.

The American viewing public has been broken up into so many groups that if you haven’t made it to superstar status, I wouldn’t count on it ever happening. I personally think that’s a great thing. Obsession sucks and since moderation is the key to happiness, less is more.

YouTubbers are seriously affecting what people watch, bloggers what people read, podcasters what people hear, everything’s changing. There are even those who believe a future political may gain ground via the Internet. How cool is that. Cash may not be King forever.

We just passed the least watched TV week in recorded history. That's fucking cool. That means that people by and large are looking for something BIG Media hasn’t provided for years entertainment. 57 channels on nothing on, more like 500 channels and nothing on.

You are witnessing what happens when an industry gets fat and lazy, they go away, usually kicking and screaming.

Bye, Bye.

Oliver Stone Does It Again.

Another great movie is on it way to the theaters according to what I’ve heard about it so far and I really hope it accomplishes what I’ve heard.

A 9/11 movie that’s not a finger pointer or political movie, a 9/11 movie that depicts 9/11; mass confusion, mass hysteria, mass sorrow, loss and heroism. As with United 93, I have every intention of seeing this movie opening day. As with United 93 I hope this movie reminds America who we are up against and why it is completely necessary to annihilate our enemies and their way of thinking.

Do something patriotic; go see this movie, drag your stupid liberal friends and relatives that don’t believe we are in danger of extinction by an irrational enemy and try to get them to shut up long enough to watch this movie.

God Bless America, not stupid Americans.

Where’s A Scooter When You Need One?

Oil prices hit $78 a barrel and I still haven’t managed to get my Vespa. Its not that I don’t want one, I do. I just can’t justify it. I work for myself; I live right across the street from a very nice grocery store, and I have a DVR on my TV and high speed internet. What does all that mean?

If I have to drive somewhere to work, someone get’s an invoice which will cover any gas used. All my clients are also within 3 miles of my office.

If gas gets way out of hand and I can’t drive at all, the grocery store is right across the street.

If I can’t go anywhere or do anything, I have already recorded hours and hours of my favorite shows or I can just surf all the porn left on the internet I haven’t made it to yet.

Now I’m gonna get the argument that I’m just lucky. Anyone who knows me knows lucky I am not. Every aspect of my current life is by design, not luck.

Ain’t personal responsibility wonderful? Try it sometime.

Behind Closed Doors Radio Show # 29

The theme for this weeks broadcast – The Jewish Cock Edition.
The theme for last weeks broadcast – Why America is Infinitely Better Than The Shithole You Came From!

In this episode we discover the ways in which the entire cast celebrated Americas Independence to include my 4th of July at a strip club. Strips clubs are best when empty. I quit. The show now has phones, porn stars and headphones. This is really starting to feel like a job.

Our first caller: PJ “The Dirty Little Mexican” calls the show for the first time ever. We find out why PJ listens to us instead of having his own show.

Why is PJ’s fan site better than ours? If you don’t believe me check it out for yourself.
We also figured out how PJ makes his money.

Great listener email this week.

The Crew Bio Segment 1 Time Only. Collin admits to being hung like a chipmunk.

Notice the Jeda Cock Block all show long.

Call the show and be a part of the show. Our Skype name is behindcloseddoors and if you don’t use Skype, you call call us direct from 813-902-2345. The show tapes every Friday at 5PM Eastern Standard time. Start calling at 4:30 and we’ll get you on the show.

BCDictionary: Jewish Cock, Pussy Politics, Jimmy Carter Is George Costanza, Hand To Man Combat

And finally we also cover

Interesting Observations & Other Shit

The Dirty Little Mexican Scorched Earth Top 5.

Whacked Teacher of The Week

Useless Study of the Week

Myspace Is Responsible For All That Is Evil On Earth

Top 10 Things George W. Bush Can’t Be Blamed For This Week

And a bunch of other stuff. This was a great show. Check it out for yourself.

God Bless!

If you’re gonna rob me of some of my soul by listening to this show, then Hate or Love us right now at rolando@dirtylittlecuban.com.

Vote for Behind Closed Doors at Podcast Alley!

Check out the Show, tell your friends about it, leave comments or email, listen together and argue about it.

Behind Closed Doors
EVERYBODY SAYS THIS STUFF; I JUST SAY IT OUT LOUD!

If You Have To Spy On Me Than I Would Rather Die In A Flooded Tunnel.

Stupid people everywhere are scared to death they are losing their rights to privacy and some of you are. If you’re a terrorists or conspiring with or even just hanging out with terrorists, you are probably losing some rights, right this second as you should and your life would be taken as well if it were up to me.

Take the douche bags that just got caught trying to blow up the Holland Tunnel in New York in order to flood Manhattan, kill thousands of innocent people and devastate the American economy. No one would do that. We’re just making it up so we can get the oil. I know, I know, it was hard for me to believe as well, but there are the internet chat room transcripts.

Are you telling me that my government had to illegally spy on someone to stop that attack. I would rather have my country blown off the map and all the people in it killed in the most painful way possible than deny 1 person there right to privacy even if they are a terrorists.

Please follow me down to the tunnel so I can drive a subway up your ass you stupid, stupid fuck!

Suck My Taepodong!

Every day, more and more it feels as though I’m looking out my window just waiting for the inevitable end to arrive. I fully expect to look up in the sky one day and watch a streak across the sky of a huge fireball propelling a nuclear or other type of missile as it figures out where it’s going to make landfall and finally adjust to a target which appears to be the center of my forehead.

Now if you’ve ever seen me, that’s not that far off. Most people have a forehead, I have a six head. In fact my six is so big; it might actually be a trajectory target for some third world nation since its so obvious how I feel about our enemies.

The scary thing is that when that day comes I think I will be completely at ease even though a missile is heading right form me and will kill not only me, but everyone and everything I’ve ever loved simply because I sat around and watched my country not do anything about it for so long.
A couple of decades ago, we were faced with an enemy with similar beliefs and tactics as N. Korea / Iran insert any whacked fucking nation here. Then came Ronald Reagan; The President with the biggest balls of any President in my lifetime. “Mr. Gorbachev, Tear Down This Wall” and with that the end of the cold war.

We are the strongest, richest, most powerful nation on earth and we are letting a handful of nut jobs take it all away.

It’s time for pussy politics to go away. These are troubled times we live in and we need leadership, not popularity contests, not political correctness, not the U.N., not diplomacy unless your definition and mine are the same.

Kill all the nut cases before they kill you.

The Smartest Ex-President Ever Gives More Advice! Great!

Since Glenn Beck rips me off so much, I’ve decided to rip him off today. Peanut Farmer a.k.a. “The Dumbest President Any Nation Has Ever Seen” has basically said our government sucks because we keep secrets. Wait, it gets better. This story appeared in the Washington Post.

According to Mr. Peanut as those of us that love him call him, he says our government is obsessed with secrecy, a poll conducted last year shows that 70% of Americans are concerned about it and there were 81% more government secrets in 2005 than in 2000. Now something has happened it that time frame that may account for this, but I just can’t put my finger on it.

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

Wait, I got it.

WE WERE FUCKING BLOWN TO SHIT IN OUR OWN BACKYARD YOU STUPID, IGNORANT, GOAT FUCKING, PEANUT FARMER!

DOES 9/11 RING ANY FUCKING BELLS?

Anyhow, to plagiarize Glenn Beck has he has done to me so many times, whatever Jimmy Carter is suggesting is the exact opposite of what we should do.

Jimmy Carter is George Costanza!

Armageddon And I Missed It! Damn, I Miss Everything!

What were you doing this past Monday? Were you working, did you have the day off, were you recovering from the weekend or getting ready to shoot some fireworks. Did you even know that your life was in grave danger?

That’s right. Apollo Asteroid XP14 was heading right for you on Monday and you probably didn’t even know it. We were almost wiped off the face of the earth on Monday and I didn’t even know about it. Now granted the asteroid was 268,873 miles from earth, but according to scientists, that is nothing considering the size of space.

I don’t know about you, but if Armageddon ever comes, I’m not gonna run, I’m not gonna hide. I have no desire to survive that. I’m gonna grab my lawn chair a case of beer, sit back and watch the fireworks.

It will be a hell of a show.

Lucky Bastard Has A Heart Attack. God Must Need Some Oil.

Ken Lay is one lucky son of a bitch. He’s supposed to be put away for life in October, but dies of a heart attack in July at home. The guy get’s to ride the gravy train for years, falls off the train and passes right by the jail without ever walking through the door.

How the leader of the seventh largest publicly traded company can just die before going to jail while child molesters and rapists live forever baffles me. There doesn’t seem to be and justice in the world.

The only hope we have left is that he goes to hell, but seeing how he avoided going to jail, I don’t know if hell is in the cards for him.

What a lucky, lucky fucker.

If I ever fuck over thousands of people simultaneously, I hope I die before I go to jail.

G, can Ya Hear Me?

A Democrat State Goes Bust, No Shit?

The arm pit of America a.k.a. “New Jersey” is in serious trouble as if being the arm pit of the nation weren’t bad enough. They actually had to shut down the government which in turn shut down government monitored businesses such as casinos, beaches, and mini-marts that sell lottery tickets.

Other than casinos & mini-marts is there any other reason to be in New Jersey? I guess if you wanted to pay the highest property taxes in the country that would be another great reason to be there. Can’t live in New York, live in New Jersey all the bad and none of the good. Sounds like a great idea to me.

Basically 80,000 people were out of work because the democrat dominant state is fucked up. Why whenever there’s money problems in a state, it’s a Democrat state, yet us republicans are greedy. Jeb Bush run’s my state and there’s plenty of money to go around for anyone that wants to go get it even without ripping it out of the hands of someone poor.

Maybe it’s just Florida.

July 4th, Shuttle Launches, Strippers & Fireworks With my Son. How I Spent Independence Day.

I had the strangest 4th of July I can ever remember. 1st off I worked. Not because I had to, but because I was needed. When I woke up July 4th I had no intention of working, but then the phone rang and it was one of my newest clients who just opened his business 3 weeks earlier. He asked me are you coming by today, I thought for about half a second and said sure, I’ll be there in a little bit.

Now you might think it’s unpatriotic to work on Independence Day, but in my situation, I disagree. I think it’s unpatriotic to have to work on Independence Day. Since I own and operate my own business, I don’t have to work that day or any day if I choose. I like this client and he is trying to get his own business off the ground. Got to love anyone with the balls to do that.

Anyway, he was amazed that not only did I show up, I stayed most of the day and took him out to lunch to boot. He paid, but I drove him there. Well at the end of the day he told me, I need to take you to go get a lap dance to make up for asking you to work today. Seemed like a good idea to me so off we went.

I learned a very valuable lesson abut strip clubs on this trip. Go to strip clubs when they’re empty to get that individual, personalized attention every straight men dreams of. The hoes were hot and VIP’d us the whole time we were there. And yes it cost us about 300 bucks.

God Bless America.

Somewhere in all that the space shuttle successfully took off on July 4th.

God Bless America!

After I dried my pants off, I raced over to get my dad and son and his mom to go watch the fireworks to wrap up my strangest 4th of July ever.

God Bless America!

Now I’m Plagiarizing Rush. Damn! Does It Ever Stop?

Pay attention folks are leaders are getting dumber and dumber every day. Pretend for a minute that you’re doing something you know is illegal, now pretend out of thin air were made legal and your past transgressions were absolved.

I would like to introduce you to the mayor of New York, Michael Bloomberg who recently stated and I quote “The economy of the country’s largest city and the entire nation would collapse if illegal immigrants were deported en masse”.

Now is where I rip of Rush. With this logic, why follow any laws at all? Why not just let everybody do whatever the hell they want? Why even have borders?

Fuck it. From this day forward Anarchy is the way of the land.

Anarchy Rules!

Hey Mr. Bloomberg, drugs, child pornography, snuff films and the like provide quite a bit of money and jobs to the economy as well, let’s open it up, legalize them, tax them and step up the quality because if there’s on thing this country really needs its high quality child pornography.

You Fucking idiot.

Rush, don’t swear, you’re too good for that. I however am not.

Fox Out Calderon In, Ally To U.S. Smart Move!

The U.S. may have just gained an ally in Mexico. The newest pick for President actually wants to go the opposite direction of leftists the likes of Hugo Chavez, and is conservative to boot. Why would this help Mexico? Liberalism and leftists usually take money from the rich to give to the poor or keep for themselves such as Fidel Castro.

I really have no way of understanding why any nation would not want to be an ally to the U.S.. We give you money, protect you from whacko’s, buy your crappy products even if you won’t buy ours.

Above all, we love Tacos.

Another Nail In The Coffin For Fags And Dikes Everywhere!

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t have anything against gay people anymore than I have anything for anyone else. I am sick and tired of hearing gay’s say how it’s a sad day in American history that New York or any other state bans gay marriages. It may indeed be a sad day for your gay ass, but I have no problem it.

You probably think it’s because I don’t know any gay people. Just mark that one up as another thing you’re wrong about. I have a gay relative that I love and care about very much. Do I think they should be able to be with whomever they want? Sure. Do I think they should be able to call it marriage or have the same rights as straight people? Not so much. Do I think Gay people can raise a child better than a straight couple? Absolutely Not! Why is that? Because gay people are crazy.

Most people are crazy in one way or another without all the issues associated with being gay stemming from their childhood onward. Kids have no business being raised by genetically, psychologically challenged cocktails a.k.a. fags and dikes. If nothing is off limits to you as a parent, how on earth will you instill morals and values and rules to your child? If you think I’m being an asshole tell me with a straight face you wouldn’t be straight in a minute if you could and make your life a whole lot easier than it’s been so far.

It’s not your constitutional right to be gay or get married as a gay. It’s not your constitutional right to raise a gay child suck your boyfriend’s dick in the club, hold hands, and make out or any of that shit.

Our founding fathers were brilliant, but a little bit shortsighted in not being able to predict how fucking whacked future societies would be and how self centered each individual would be wanting a new set of rules to cover their own personal set of psychosis.

Suck your boyfriend’s dick all you want at home. Eat your girlfriend’s pussy all you want at home. No matter what you say or how you say it, you are fucked up, I am not and I am not changing to make your crazy ass happy so fuck off and live your private life in the greatest country on earth because it wasn’t established by self centered whiney bitches like you.

Behind Closed Doors Radio Show # 28

The theme for this weeks broadcast – Why America is Infinitely Better Than The Shithole You Came From!
The theme for last weeks broadcast – The Definition of Behind Closed Doors Vol. 1. Show.

In this episode we attempt to close Jeda’s Pussy once and for all. We also try to get Collin to stop holding back and bring the hate. If you can’t bring the hate, get the fuck out of the studio.

We also finally got one Skype! What does that mean? You can call the show and be a part of the show. Our Skype name is behindcloseddoors and if you don’t use Skype, you call call us direct from 813-902-2345. The show tapes every Friday at 5PM Eastern Standard time. Start calling at 4:30 and we’ll get you on the show.

And finally we also cover

The Dirty Little Mexican Scorched Earth Top 5.

Whacked Teacher of The Week

Useless Study of the Week

Myspace Is Responsible For All That Is Evil On Earth

Top 10 Things George W. Bush Can’t Be Blamed For This Week

And a bunch of other stuff. This was a great show. Check it out for yourself.

God Bless!

If you’re gonna rob me of some of my soul by listening to this show, then Hate or Love us right now at rolando@dirtylittlecuban.com.

Vote for Behind Closed Doors at Podcast Alley!

Check out the Show, tell your friends about it, leave comments or email, listen together and argue about it.

Behind Closed Doors
EVERYBODY SAYS THIS STUFF; I JUST SAY IT OUT LOUD!

The Supreme Court Needs Their Dicks Blown Off!

In one of the most bizarre news weeks in history, the Supreme Court basically gave murderous terrorists who are not and have never been citizens of the United States the same protections guaranteed under the Constitution to the actual citizens of this country.

If that doesn’t piss you off and make you want to kill a judge, I don’t know what does. Where’s a penis pump when you need one? I would like to force it on the cock of every Judge who ruled to protect these scumbags and pump them up till their dicks exploded and feed the remains to all Gitmo detainees. It’s not cow, but it is meat.

Citizenship is a privilege and not a right. Constitutional rights and privileges do not belong to anyone warring against the U.S. You know where the battlefield is. If you don’t want to be wrongly accused and persecuted for war crimes, stay the fuck off the battle filed and stop hanging out with terrorists, otherwise suffer the consequences of your actions.

I promise you, one day someone is going to start the Anti-Stupidity movement in this country and straighten all this shit out.

This show is a piece of that puzzle.

The New York Crimes. Hamas’ Newspaper!

What’s the point of putting any effort into counter terrorism and attempting to keep the American people safe while the New York times is undermining everything you do without so much as a slap on the wrist?

Do we even know what the word treason is anymore? The fact that a newspaper would release secret strategic moves the U.S. employs to stop terrorists such as monitoring their banking activities is reason enough to close the paper down and imprison those responsible to send the strongest possible message to anyone thinking of doing the same thing.

Freedom of the press is great. Treason – not so good.

This is not the first time The New York Crimes has done and I am supremely confident that it will do it again, because we won’t do anything to stop it.

Anyone remember the telephone surveillance story put out by the same toilet paper company? These people have no interest in serving or protecting the American public. In fact ‘I’m thinking the Wish is hoping for another 9/11 to improve paper sales and anything they can do to make that happen by supplying the enemy all the information they need to do it is more important than anything else.

Prosecute these fuckers for treason. Every single person involved including the paper boys who delivered this garbage. That will get their fucking attention.

Israeli Launch Buttons Mounted In Balls!

A rabid dog has been sitting idly by for years waiting to rip the heads off its enemies and they may do just that. We have all known for years that Israel is the one nation you really shouldn’t fuck with. It used to be the U.S, but we forgot where we placed our balls and lost the launch button somewhere along the way.

If Israel doesn’t get back Corporal Gilad Shalit in good health, Hamas will have hell to pay and Israel knows exactly where their balls and launch buttons are located. In fact their launch buttons are physically located in their nut sack. All they have to do is sqeeze.

Squeeze away my brother, - In arms!

You Actually Get To Keep Your Own Shit!

Hey, G.W. did something right and it goes against Big corporations. Do I see balls and common sense coming back to my President? Please visit www.whitehouse.gov and print this Executive Order up for yourself and jerk off all over it just like I did.

The little guy just kicked ass.

I read the Executive Order on the show.

Good news Kansas, Keep Killing Mother Fuckers.

The Supreme Court Redeemed itself at least as it pertains to killing its own citizens this week when they ruled that Kansas gets to keep the Death penalty.

Believe it or not there are people out there like Bill Lucero who is the leader of Murder Victims’ Family for Reconciliation (a anti-capital punishment group) who want more protection for the accused than the victims. Where do misguided wack jobs like this come from?

How do you get to a point where guilty millers mean more to you than innocent victims?

This is more proof how free and great this country is. You can take up the cause for a murderer, child rapist, anything and not get shot dead in the street. Hint, hint.

America – What A Country!

Hey Murtha Fucker, Shut Your Fucking Hole!

How a U.S. representative can get away with saying the U.S. is the top threat to World Peace and keep his job is besides me. Another case of treason that will not be dealt with. How do we go from babysitter to the world to the biggest threat against peace?

All we do is bail other countries out of shit! All we do is send troops, money and support. This is exactly what happens when you give something to someone. They don’t appreciate it.

If you don’t get it on your own, you don’t care about it.

Hey U.S. – Stop giving other nations shit, let them get it on their own and watch them fall flat on their face.

Iran’s leader also rejects talking to us about his nuclear build because nothing would be gained. I think your salvation might be gained if you could pull your head out your ass. You’re heading down a dead end street dumbass.

It also kills me that we have to get Japans approval to deploy interceptor missile on U.S bases in Japan.

Hey Japan – if we’re gone – so are you. Why doesn’t anyone get this? Without the U.S. most of the world will collapse.

There’s a reason we’re called Big Brother!

Why Would A Dick Be Afraid Of Bush?

Bush is demanding the wacko running North Korea into the stone age not dare launch a missile and better disclose what is on the missile and where its headed. How can he be so tough with third world nut jobs and so passive on illegal immigrants and the Wish media? This guy really doesn’t know how to pick a fight.

Pick fights you can win. Your not gonna be able to intimidate this guy or the fuckhead running Iran. You have the power to go after corporations that hire illegal’s – problem solved. You have the power to go after the New York Crimes and any other slanderous al qaeda operative press agencies – problem solved.

Stop trying to be the nice guy to everybody, stop trying to make friends. Make enemies, make as many of them as possible, bury anyone trying to destroy the American way of life and do it now!

There’s plenty of time for friends when you retire and they’ll wipe your ass for you too.

Katrina, A Good Story. I Couldn’t Believe It Myself.

I almost chocked on my chocolate when I saw this story. A trio of criminal assholes were recently convicted and sent to prison for 15 years for looting alcohol during Hurricane Katrina. Is that the coolest fucking thing you’ve ever heard? Now if Ray Nagin were just forced to eat the chocolate out of their asses, everything would be perfect in my world.

Natural disasters and state of emergencies are bad enough, why do you have to be an asshole in the process. Looters stealing things that are not essentials, water, food etc... are. These scumbags should be shot on site and fed to Ray Nagin analy. TV,s, VCR’s and 27 bottles of liquor and wine, six cases of beer and one case of wine coolers do not qualify as essentials you fucking retarded morons.

Why stop at these 3. Stop making examples and prosecute everyone who breaks any law. Let’s get back to a civilized society before our society is gone forever. FUCKING LOOTER SCUMBAGS.

Look people, get armed and shoot these fuckers dead. If your government won’t stop them, the bullet will.

Saddam May Be Crazy, But He’s Probably Right.

Since common sense seems to be completely lost in the world today, the fact that Saddam believes he will be reinstated as the President of Iraq might not be as far out there as we would like to believe.

Nothing surprises me at this point. Why not after all he wasn’t killing us, not directly and he was really only killing brown people and everyone knows evil Americans are just fine with the death of brown people the world over.

He thinks Bush will put him back in power to keep from getting our ass kicked in the war, which anyone with a brain knows is not true which is why the Wish haven’t figured it out.

Bin Laden & Al Zarqawi Will Re-Unite Soon, If Not Already.

Ok, so here’s the deal. Wack Job # 1 is going to issue a tribute video to Wack Job # 2 and I’m supposed to give a shit. First off, I don’t care and I don’t want it on my fucking TV. Why is it that we continually show the enemy threaten us, but not show us bombing or shooting the shit out off the enemy?

The only and I mean only video or audio I want to see of Bin Laden or any other camel jockey rag head terrorists is a photo of his head shoved up his ass by a big fucking bomb. Is that too much to ask for? I don’t think so.

I’m a simple guy I just want the score for both teams when I’m watching any kind of competition sport and war is the all time greatest competition sport there is. There’s running, jumping, throwing, hitting, dodging, shooting, fucking, eating, you name it, its all in there.

Where is our Score?

Enemy 2500 American Soldiers

American 1 Billion Terrorists Assholes.

Behind Closed Doors Radio Show # 27

The Definition of Behind Closed Doors Vol. 1

Today marks the most special day in the history of Behind Closed Doors for me.

Today I received my first email from a soldier in Iraq.

I can’t tell you how humbling and what an honor it is to get a letter from someone in uniform who is actively defending my ability to do this show and say the things I say while doing it and to have them enjoy the show on top of that is a feeling I can’t explain.

Scorched Earth Policy according to the Dirty Little Mexican

BCDFans.com web site.

The Definition of Behind Closed Doors

The show is very difficult to categorize and define.

I even have trouble explaining it to people.

I fully intended on doing a best of show, but it leaves out too many nuances that I think make the show what it is.

So this week I gave the crew the week off and sat down and went through the first 10 shows about 15 hours of audio and packaged it into what your about to hear which I think clearly defines what we are trying to accomplish here.

If you’re a fan of the show and you wish you could get your friends or family to jump on board, getting them to listen to the first 25 episodes might be a bit difficult. Getting them to listen to 1 hour isn’t that hard.

I believe they will make up their mind in that one hour to be a fan for life or hate us forever.

As long as they’re thinking for themselves, I don’t give a shit.

God Bless!

If you’re gonna rob me of some of my soul by listening to this show, then Hate or Love us right now at rolando@dirtylittlecuban.com.

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EVERYBODY SAYS THIS STUFF; I JUST SAY IT OUT LOUD!

Behind Closed Doors Radio Show # 26

The theme for this weeks broadcast – Fathers – “The Most Underappreciated Mother Fucker On The Face Of The Earth”.
The theme for last weeks broadcast – Victimless Crimes – Prostitution! Jeda And I Agreed On Almost Everything Except When It Comes To Minors, Which Is Where I Draw The Line.

In this episode we explore if a hot chick agrees the misogynistic asshole that is Rolando. Survey says – YES! What are the chances? I am a lot of things, mostly hard to disagree with. We also talked about outing Jeda who I am slowly discovering is a closet liberal pertaining to his irrational love for Jon Stewart whom I hate! His death on the show is imminent! Liberal bastard! The new military death count is 2500! What a bloodbath!, Frame of references and a whole bunch of other shit.

God Bless!

If you’re gonna rob me of some of my soul by listening to this show, then Hate or Love us right now at rolando@dirtylittlecuban.com.

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EVERYBODY SAYS THIS STUFF; I JUST SAY IT OUT LOUD!

He Tried To Get Away And Troops Beating Him Up. Boo Hoo!

Even if our military gave Zarqawi blowjobs by virgins while tickling his balls with American blood, it would still be the wrong thing to do. Why does anyone give a fuck if this piece of shit was beat up or tried to get away? Who gives a fuck? What are you a Dixie Chick?

He’s dead. Finally! Another sadistic asshole wiped of the face of the map, the way God intended it. You think God wants pieces of shit like this running around the earth he created in spite of what Stephen Hawking thinks? Not no, but Hell No.

If you asked me, the 2 500 pound bombs should have been rammed up his ass.

Sideways!

Hey Anderson Cooper; Go Fuck Yourself & Take FEMA with you!

I actually don’t know anything about Anderson Cooper or his show. I am however sick and tired of seeing his overly dramatic serious face on my TV demanding to know why FEMA trailers are sitting in a field. Why do you think? The government couldn’t get something right even if they had nothing to do with it. That’s saying something.

People committed fraud with the FEMA debit cards? I don’t believe it. Where’s my hurricane? I’m gonna buy some shit with my relief money. Hey wait and while you’re at it, fuck up the projects so we can get rid of all our niggers too. These are not people! They are the lowest form of scum and somebody in power better make a decision to kill these fuckers.

Yeah lawmakers are grandstanding about putting these scumfucks in jail for a long, long time, like that’s gonna do any good. When will we ever learn the lesson that prisons are a giant waste of time and money, my money?

Just in case you don’t know, let me tell you what you can get with a FEMA Debit card.

How about a divorce?
Fuck you, I had to pay for mine.

How about Season Football Tickets?
I live in a town with one of the best teams in the sport and I don’t have them. Fuck you again.

How about a Tropical Vacation?
I live in Florida and the closest I’ve ever come to that is Key West, Although nice, not quite the same thing Capice? Fuck you thrice!

How about a Sex Change Operation?
Ok, that one I’ll give you. If I could get Uncle Sam to change my dick size to 12 by 4 instead of 2 x 4, I would do it in a heartbeat.

This is what happens when you hand out money. People will only value what they work for. Case closed.

Public Enemy Number 2 Walks, But How? Ummmmmmm… No evidence?

So, it appears the Karl Rove won’t go to jail. But how could that be? The liberals had him fair and square in their sights ready to rip his head off. Since the facts of anything are irrelevant to Behind Closed Doors, I’ll make it real simple for you.

NO EVIDENCE!

It really is the only conclusion you can come to if there is a price on your head and the people behind the investigation can’t give it to them.

Just think of this as the total opposite to the OJ investigation.

Victimless Stupidity Returns To Behind Closed Doors!

Imagine being 24 years old with the whole world in your hands and your whole life in front of you. You’re young, good looking, rich and the Quarterback of a Super bowl winning team. Now go do something so stupid you should be beat senseless with a fossilized black mans cock.

Where is this guys father? If he were my son, the beating I would give him would far surpass any injury sustained from the motorcycle accident. I know he’s only 25 and men are historically dumb as a box of rocks until at least 35, but most men aren’t Ben Roethlisberger and have no chance at his life.

I lost my brother in law a few years ago for not wearing a helmet. The whole family is still in denial on that one, but that’s another story.

1st off, don’t ride motorcycles, the idiots around you will kill you.

Secondly, if you have to ride a motorcycle, wear a fucking helmet dipshit.

And finally trailer your helmet to a very, very, very unpopulated road and ride it there with your fucking helmet on.

Operation Return To Sender Good – Operation Return To Maker Better!

Take 12 million minus 2000. That equals the number of Illegal Immigrants left to capture and deport this week’s raid in Boston. 140 of these characters were child rapists, 367 were known gang members of MS-13 another great reason to carry a handgun, and about 640 people who had already been deported once.

Can you believe people who’ve already been deported once are still here or came back after being told by a judge to get out? Why would these law abiding people who are just trying to take care of their families do such a thing?

Because they’re scum, that’s why. Stop deporting people and start shooting them between the eyes. I guaranty your work load will dwindle

A Kennedy Actually Accepted Responsibility For Something They Did. That’s Not What A Liberal Would Do.

Although its terrible theta Patrick Kennedy crashed his car under the influence of drugs, its absolutely astonishing he appears to be willing to take the heat for it, a first for a Kennedy.

DUI’s are something that almost every person walking the face of the earth has an opportunity to get. I thank God every day the stupid things I’ve done in my past haven’t injured or killed anyone.

Maybe there’s a new breed of Kennedy here although probably not. When you’re indoctrinated into power and privilege from birth, personal responsibility across the board doesn’t seem possible.

Hey Patrick, whatever you do, don’t run for Preisedent and get the hell away from Ted the nut job.

Now Available! ICBM Heading Your Way!

Here’s the riddle. What’s scarier that Iran with a nuke? North Korea with a nuke! Why? They have it now and they’ve already fired it once. They eat dog for Christ’s sake. For that reason alone we should be afraid. These people are whacked.

In 1998 the world was sent into a panic when and Korea shot a short range missile over Japan. Why did they do it? As my dad always says, “Because they can”! Why are they gonna drop a nuke in our laps? “Because they can”. What are we gonna do about it? Recover! Why? Because that’s all this politically correct geo politic, earth friendly, friend to the world country has left in its arsenal.

If this were fifty years ago, we would preemptively blow the shit out of them, piss off a lot of people and be safe from that shit for another fifty years.

Get your MRE’s together, those days are over!

Florida Doges Another Bullet, Which Is Exactly What A Hacker Needs.

If you live in Florida you just get used to being inconvenienced all summer long especially over the last few years. If you don’t get inconvenienced then your doing something wrong like not planning to get wiped off the face of the map.

Mother Nature is a cunt with a bad attitude. If you fuck with her, she’ll shove her broomstick right up your ass. If the experts tell you the get the fuck out, get the fuck out. If you don’t own a car steal one instead of stealing my TV after I evacuate. If you can’t drive, car jack someone and make them drive you instead of just shooting them in the car.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not in any way condoning violence, but if you are gonna be a scumbag Katrinaesque asshole, at least be productive in your crimes. That way when you blame the whole thing on racism and George Bush as long as you did something productive or safe in the process, I might let you slide.

As for the hacker that replaced the State of Florida’s public disaster web site (www.floridadisaster.org) with a fake site during Tropical Storm Alberto, God please let him be fucked in the ass repeatedly by some ugly fat fucker named Alberto who happens to have a 2x4 for a cock. Can we actually make that the payoff for next week’s lotto? Please, huh, can we?

Has Anyone Read The Bible?

Stephen Hawking wants to know what the origin of the universe is. He also says that humans are close to finding the answer. It shouldn’t be to difficult to discover since it was all put in a manual called the Bible thousands of years ago and of all the explanations I’ve been privy to, it seems like the best explanation so far.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not a Jesus freak and I’m not trying to preach to anyone. I just wish once there was a scientist who would consider the bible instead of discounting it completely especially since miracles performed by a higher power would easily explain the unexplained better than any crazy theory could.

The bible also doesn’t talk about theories. It’s pretty cut and dry. This is what the fuck happened. This is who did it.

If you want me to believe your story, tell it with some confidence you pussy or don’t tell it at all.

Only The Good Die Young! Well Not Always Young.

Jerry Lewis 80 has been chronically ill for some time. He recently suffered a “mild” heart attack after recently recuperating from a “touch of pneumonia”.

This guys a dead man and that sucks.

This is one of those times where I stand up and question God.

God, I say. What are you thinking?

Any person who has done so much to help so many especially children should live a long, healthy, happy life and die only while getting his balls emptied into Halle Berry on the green room couch of the Jerry Lewis Telethon at the exact moment the ticker reaches its highest dollar figure ever.

Is that too much to ask?

Behind Closed Doors Radio Show # 25

The theme for this weeks broadcast – Victimless Crimes – Prostitution! Jeda And I Agreed On Almost Everything Except When It Comes To Minors, Which Is Where I Draw The Line.
The theme for last weeks broadcast – Victimless Crimes – Jeda And I Are Gonna Have It Out And You’re Gonna See What A Liberal Looks Like.

In this episode we explore how Prostitution is definitely a Victimless Crime and has no place in our courtrooms. In the immortal words of George Carlin, “If fucking is legal and paying for shit is legal, why ain’t paying for fucking legal”. No one has ever said it better. I am of course talking about legal adults only.

God Bless!

If you’re gonna rob me of some of my soul by listening to this show, then Hate or Love us right now at rolando@dirtylittlecuban.com.

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EVERYBODY SAYS THIS STUFF; I JUST SAY IT OUT LOUD!

Behind Closed Doors Radio Show # 24

The theme for this weeks broadcast – Victimless Crimes – Jeda And I Are Gonna Have It Out And You’re Gonna See What A Liberal Looks Like.
The theme for last weeks broadcast – Why's Everybody Stealing My Shit?– “All this talent and no recognition”. Mostly about Glen Beck.

In this episode we explore what Jeda thinks the world should be like by doing away with victimless crimes. We couldn’t disagree more and we argued more than ever. I don’t agree there is a crime without a victim since I also don’t believe there are such things as accidents. The military doesn’t believe in them and neither do I. Accountability is the only way to salvation, just ask the bible.

I actually want you to feel like you’re getting your money’s worth even though you bastards aren’t paying me.

Remember to batten down the hatches! Hurricane season is 2 days old and its gonna be a shit storm.

God Bless!

If you’re gonna rob me of some of my soul by listening to this show, then Hate or Love us right now at rolando@dirtylittlecuban.com.

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EVERYBODY SAYS THIS STUFF; I JUST SAY IT OUT LOUD!

Some New Yorker Actually Apologized.

Let’s say you held a government job and you thought the President should be shot right between the eyes. Should you voice your opinion or keep your fucking mouth shut? I would say keep it shut, but maybe it’s just me. If I were the President it would be the last thing you ever said, but then again, that’s just me.

Alan Hevesi a Comproller for the over friendly state of New York said those exact words during a ceremony where he was pimpin’ Senator Charles Shumer.

Dictionary.com defines extemporaneously the word he used to describe his speaking style as (Carried out or performed with little or no preparation). I think a fairer assessment of the situation would classify his speaking style as lobotomly. Not really a word, but defined by me as “Look Ma No Brains”!

You’re Either With Us Or Your With Them!

War Sucks, people die. What can I do to protect myself? Stop protecting the enemy, it’s that simple. The stories of US Soldiers targeting civilians for death are flying all over the place. That is horrible, but is it true? Does it even matter? Is there anything a US Soldier can do other than slitting his own throat that will appease the wish media and idiot liberals of the world that want to put the sole blame for everything wrong in the world on the backs of our troops and their President?

Let’s go out on a limb for a minute and assume that US Soldiers are doing these horrible things. What is their motive? Since we’re talking about a crime, we need a motive. I guess spending the rest of your life in a military prison might sound better than I more minute in the shithole of Iraq. Maybe you just believe you’ll get away with it. No good you have done has made its way to the news, maybe they’ll just ignore the bad. That seems unlikely since it’s the only thing ever reported.

Maybe you just want to discrace yourself and your family forever. Maybe it’s a revenge killing spree over the death of one of your buddies.

There is another possibility.

Terrorists are surrounding themselves with un armed women and children in an effort to hide so that when you hunt them down and kill them you are the bad guy which is right out of the terrorist play book.

Get innocent people killed and make stupid people mad at the wrong person.

The ToGay Show Loses An Idiot!

Everyone’s all broke up over the loss of Katie Couric. I’ll never know why. She’s an idiot with stupid comments and as fake a personality as I’ve ever witnessed. She’s such an out of touch left wing freak, I don’t see how anyone other than Al Gore could like her. They should get married and rule the kooks together.

I hope she falls flat on her face at her new job and goes away with her tail between her legs. I also have a hard time believing Matt Lauer is upset she’s leaving. I would have thrown a C-Ya bitch show if I were him.

The best part of this whole debacle!. You thought you saw spin before, you ain’t seen shit. She might top Behind Closed Doors with all spin all the time. In a time where the sheep have finally figured out that they’re sheep, one of the biggest herders of our time is stepping up to the plate to start washing brains across America with an endless sea of wish media bullshit.

Get your boots on, it’s gonna be deep.

Free Boxing Tickets? That Depends On What Your Definition Of Is Is.

Why is it that every time I hear of some politician doing something clearly wrong by everyone around them, the only response I get is code for I didn’t do anything wrong.

Interviewer:
Sir , I caught you standing over the bleeding corpse with your hand on the trigger.

Politician:
This corpse was hear when I got here.

Interviewer:
Why do you have gun powder residue on you?

Politician:
I just got back from hunting with Dick Chenney.

These people deny everything or any wrong doing and have loopholes in their so called ethics rules that allow for this inexcusable asinine behavior.

Harry Reid clearly did something wrong and is angry with the press for bringing it up. His defense; the way he looks at it, he did nothing wrong and why is everyone making a big deal out of it. Because they way you look at it is irrelevant you jackass.

The only opinion that matters is the law, not yours you self pretentious asshole. This is why these people suck. They have no grasp of reality.

Shove a boxing glove up his ass and make an example out of him.

Let me do it. Please.

You’ll Be Back!

Governor Schwarzenegger is doing that thing politicians do. Trying to stand in the middle of the court and play for both teams and it makes me sick. He and Bush had a 17 day standoff where the terminator was deciding whether or not he would send his states National Guard troops to the border and or pay for it. If I were the President I would just build the wall on the California border and drop all the illegals off, then you could decide if playing both side of the court was such a good idea.

Arnold, I like you, but stop being a stupid ass politician. You ran as a hard nosed Republican, now start acting like one before you get terminated.

I Would Prefer Double D Implants, Thank You!

So now we’ve come to a point where implanting people with chips is acceptable and locking people up is not. What good is it to track someone if you’re not going to arrest them in the first place?

This idea is almost as dumb as a wall on our borders.

We have had ankle bracelets and house arrest for years. What good has it done? House arrest, ankle bracelets and tracking chips are just like locks. They are only as good as the criminal you’re talking about. Criminals cut off ankle bracelets and ignore hose arrest all the time. As we speak an insider at VeriChip company is planning on the millions he’ll make beating the system.

Criminals need locks they can’t get passed. Death is a great example of a lock that’s impossible to beat. Getting locked up in a maximum security prison is another good example. Policies that actually punish criminals is the only solution to this problem.

Lock up employers that hire them, do nothing else and sit back and watch the results.

You’d be amazed what common sense could accomplish.

Send-A-Brick To A Prick.com

I tried to avoid this because I think it’s stupid. It does however send the right message and it’s popping up in the news. Get off your lazy ass and do what I voted you to do. Protect me from bullshit.

One of our local DJ’s has been ranting for months about building a wall to protect our borders which I think is a stupid, giant waste of money. There is a web site www.send-a-brick.com where you can sign up to mail a real brick to one of the pricks in congress who are ignoring our demands in handling the illegal problem in our country.

Check out the web site and send a brick to a prick today.

Bush III, What Would You Do Differently?

There’s a lot of talk about Jeb running for the Presidency, mostly from his brother George. The big question everyone’s asking is what he would do differently than George.

I think there are a few issues here that need to be addressed since Tony Snow isn’t gonna do it since he appears to be a Bush puppet which I found out last week listening to an interview with Rush.

If I were Jeb, I would say I’m not doing anything differently on the things George did right and there were a lot of them and I would point them out. I would also point out the mistakes and say why I’m not gonna make them.

Brother or not no one is perfect and acting like they are wastes your time and mine.

Jeb, please step up, your country needs you now more than ever. Get tough on terrorism, illegal’s and the media, our 3 biggest enemies. Start suing their asses out of existence for lies printed daily.

If you claim to be a news organization, you better have the facts or the full resources of the vast Bush empire and the government will rain down on you and fuck you with a lubed up word processor.

Forcefeeding Terrorist? We Don’t Even Nicely Feed The Poor.

Ok, sit down and listen to this nonsense. There are prisoners in Guantanamo who won’t eat. Oh, my God what do we do? I know, let’s force them to eat.

I got a better idea, put them in an oven, and bake them at 500 degrees until ashes are the only thing left. Take those ashes to fields to enrich the soil to plant food to feed the homeless.

We are force feeding terrorists and won’t feed homeless poor people. Why is anyone homeless or poor in this country? Because we’re spending all our time, energy & money clothing, feeding & housing career criminals who should be dead.

If you don’t want to bake them to ashes, then cook them to feed the homeless. Hey, it’s a start.

What The Hell Did Indonesia Do To Piss God Off So Bad And Why Isn’t He Going After Iraq?

Between Tsunamis, Human Bird flu & 6.3 Earthquakes, I would just slit my wrists if I lived in Indonesia. The next time you think you got it bad in your life or in this country try moving to a 3rd world country and surviving a week.

I wouldn’t make it. I’m a big pussy. I like air conditioning and internet porn too much.

Behind Closed Doors Radio Show # 23

The theme for this weeks broadcast – Why's Everybody Stealing My Shit?– “All this talent and no recognition”.
The theme for last weeks broadcast –America– A Nation Of Self Absorbed Assholes.

In this episode we the audio actually sounded good. We did a major overhaul to the studio in an effort to make the show as professionally produced as possible. We figured since it’s the most unprofessionally performed show you’ve ever heard it might as well sound good while offending the hell out of you.

I actually want you to feel like you’re getting your money’s worth even though you bastards aren’t paying me.

Remember to hug suck or fuck a soldier! Its Memorial Day Weekend.

God Bless!

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EVERYBODY SAYS THIS STUFF; I JUST SAY IT OUT LOUD!

Shots Fired In DC! Or It Could Just Be A Crappy Car!

So you work in the Rayburn House Office building and you hear gun shots. Could it be the shooting range in the basement? What the hell is a shooting range doing in an office building with the House of Representatives in it? Good question. I’m sure we’ll never know. Why not just put a cocaine lab next to the Oval office while you’re at it.

All I know is this story is all over the news this morning even though there may not be a story to tell. No one knows what happened, everyone’s freaking out & the good old wish is doing its part to panic people with a non story.

Turn up a dead, bleeding corpse or put the backfiring car on a tow truck and leave me alone until you have a story worth listening to. Never mind, just go away. I’ll make up my own news. It works for you and should work for me just fine.

Why Is My Personal Data On A Government Laptop?

I’m no Genius, not by any stretch of imagination, but trying to figure out a good reason for a government entity to store or allow storage of American’s Personal Data on laptops or storage devices and carried out of the office makes my ass hurt, since my head is usually next to it.

Supposedly 26 million veterans and their spouses are affected. That means my ex and I are affected and I want answers.

Something really stinks about this story. This asswhipe who wasn’t authorized to take the information home in the first place get’s robbed at the same time. If I find out this guy works for Vincente Fox, I’m gonna kill him myself. I’m gonna shove an Illegal Immigrant up his ass sideways.

In case you don’t get it. Millions of illegal’s are taking over using false Social Security info. 26 million Veterans Social Security numbers have just been stolen in what appears to be an inside job. I’m telling you, if we ever get an ounce of truth on this story, it will sound like what I just described.

I know where the laptop is, right next to Jimmy Hoffa who they’ve been trying to dig up for 10 days.

It’s Good To Be Illegal!

In case you missed it, your Government just told you to go Fuck Yourself. You stood up and demanded something be done about the illegal bastards that are bankrupting our hospitals and social services all the while not paying taxes and sending their money back home.

This is just like our prison system. I’m paying to keep someone who should be dead, alive & healthy and I don’t get a say in the matter. I don’t mind paying taxes, I look forward to it. It gives me a right to bitch. I can’t wait till I pay a lot of taxes; I’ll have more of a right to bitch. I will associate with more people with better contacts and access to higher ranking bitching receivers.

These law breakers have been given a free pass on past indiscretions, minimal fines, and get to stay. What exactly is the message to the whole world in all of that? Come to America, rob me blind, force me to pay for your shit, and tell me Na Bitch.

I love my countries, but my leaders are fucked up. You make it impossible to defend you Mr. President.

I Am Not A Homosexual; Any Man That Watches American Idol Is.

I really tried as hard as I could to not bring this story up, but the fervor of American Idol can’t be avoided. It’s everywhere. It’s like Bird Flu if Bird Flu were real. 123 dead worldwide coming to a city near you.

OK so some Gray haired guy won. If you’re a straight man and can name more than 1 contestant besides him, you’re on your way to sucking cock.

Trust me, if there’s one thing I know, its how to spot a cock sucker. Although I’ve never personally been with a man, I have been offered more times than I care to remember. I’m a fag magnet.

An Army Of One. Babysitting For No Reason Whatsoever.

You may have heard that our National Guard will be heading to the Mexican Border, with no weapons and no authority. This is an outrage and an insult to the men and women of our Armed Services. How do the people who come up with this shit sleep at night?

I’m talking to you Mr. President.

Since our policy regarding illegal’s is shit, what’s the point of doing anything with the border? I have said this till I’m blue in the balls. No Policy – No Wall.

So far we have a war we’re obviously winning if not already done with, fought with our hands completely tied and reckless wish media & celebrity assholes vilifying our troops and their presence all the while. Top that off with a complete bullshit operation of border babysitting and you are wiping out any and all reasons for anyone to join the volunteer armed services of America.

I joined the military to get my head out of my ass. My country is now driving it right back up there.

Enron Get’s A Hard On! A Big Black Cock.

What happens to an old rich white guy who goes to prison for 200 years for fucking over thousands of people all in the pursuit of the almighty dollar. He get’s a roommate named Bubba a.k.a Super Cock.

The best part of this story is that Kenneth Lay & Jeffrey Skilling are shocked at the outcome. You mean I can’t indiscriminately fuck people in the ass and get away with it?

Fortunately for this case the answer is yes, Mr. Out of touch / no concept of reality. How many other companies are doing the same thing as we speak?

As someone who has broken plenty of laws in my life, I stopped before I got caught. Not out of fear of prison, not out of fear from God, not out of anything other than my fear of Bubba.

I’m not ready for Super Cock just yet.

Bush / Blair Apologies, Why?

Bush has figured out not to use so much tough talk. The only problem is he has taken that lesson way too far. We are in quite a predicament in the US. We are the babysitters of the world whether we want to be or not. We have psychos the world over in control of very dangerous ideologies, people and weapons. We are the most powerful, yet we can’t tell you about it.

Bush is backing down on shit all over the place and it makes me sick to my stomach. The world doesn’t need apologists running our country. We need a ball buster running our country; someone who promises to make rogue nations accountable for their actions, someone who doesn’t take any shit.

G.W. is the closest thing to Reagan we’ve had and he’s losing his penis. Isn’t there Presidential Viagra, something to get the blood back in his balls.

OK some stupid people tortured or teased some prisoners, a lot of information about Iraq appears to be wrong, & we have been fucking up on immigration for years and years. How does any of that get us to the conclusion that all military are rotten and evil, Iraq isn’t way, way, way better off without Saddam or the illegal problem isn’t a problem at all?

Stop apologizing for shit, start taking corrective action and fix your country before you’re gone. That’s what I want to remember you for.

G.W. had Balls. There is no down side to that epitaph.

Katrina’s Biggest Logistical & Leadership Problems Stay For Good.

Just so you can’t say no one told you. If you guys are in the path of anything. Run for your lives. Almost a year later, you re-elected the Mayor of Chocolate Town, you had to cancel your hurricane drill due to jurisdictional issues and there were major communications problems once the drill ensued.

Are you guys running a sitcom up in chocolate town? Last year we got the pilot season and it was such a huge success, you decided to re-run the last season? Run for your lives you morons.

Don’t come here though. We saw what you did to Houston and there are a lot of armed people here who aren’t gonna put up with that shit.

Oh by the way; your wonderful fearless leader has already expressed that you are on your own and with your reputation, good luck finding someone to take you in.

I hear Mexico is looking for a few good people.

Big Oil No Foil!

Although the Oil Makers of the world have been investigated a billion times, we still can’t find evidence of price fixing. Why is that? Well I believe there are only 2 possibilities. There is no price fixing or they hide it so well we’ll never find it. Possibility number 3 is my favorite. A hybrid of both. But how can that be possible?

Somewhere between Truth and Lies is nirvana and since we never really know where the line is, Fuck it and just be happy.

And for God sakes, let it go, make more money, buy more gas and relax.

Another William Jefferson Scumbag? Seriously?

Some idiot politician get’s caught on audio and videotape taking 100k in bribes. His name is William Jefferson. Does all this sound a little familiar to anyone else.

Granted he’s not Bill Clinton, but he has decided not to resign just as Clinton did when impeached. The money was stuffed in his freezer along with Vince Foster & Jimmy Hoffa.

Behind Closed Doors Radio Show # 22

The theme for this weeks broadcast –America– A Nation Of Self Absorbed Assholes.
The theme for last weeks broadcast – Hate Cubed or – Why we’ve decided to be the voice of “All Hate All The Time”.

In this episode we got back to our roots of mostly all bullshit instead of news or politics since its bullshit we are most qualified with. We reflected on the self absorption that is crippling our nation, crappy TV shows and great TV shows that over dramatize everything and annoy the hell out of me. As usual we hope you enjoy the show and share it with your peeps.

God Bless!

If you’re gonna rob me of some of my soul by listening to this show, then Hate or Love us right now at rolandoworld@gmail.com!

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Behind Closed Doors
EVERYBODY SAYS THIS STUFF; I JUST SAY IT OUT LOUD!

Privacy or Piracy Take Your Pick.

People are all freaked out over their phone records or phone conversations being used against them, mostly since the Wish Media and Grandstanding Politicians are telling them to be.

Remember, whatever the mainstream media is telling you is probably and most often the exact opposite of what is really happening if its even that close. Take a few steps back and analyze the situation for yourselves.

Most phone companies hardly have the ability to allow you to place or receive a call successfully let alone record it. I’m no engineer, but recording every phone call in America seems a bit impossible and even if it could be done, who the fuck is gonna listen to them all hoping to bust you for something.

Use some common sense and realize it would be a far easier task to record only phone calls which are believed to illegal or terroristic in nature.

Besides a pornographic conversation between your fat ass and your average looking secretary pails in comparison to internet porn. I vote for internet porn.

I’ll Take Secrecy, Order, Patriotism & Regulations Over Popularity and Sensitivity Any Day.

Is it ok to place a Military General in charge of a civilian spy agency? Let’s see, will the main focus of his job be thwarting terrorism or writing parking tickets? If there’s anyone I want to gather intelligence and counterintelligence in the national interests, I think it’s a military person.

In case you don’t have the brains to figure this one out, most people who join the volunteer armed forces of the United States are more patriotic than the average asshole walking the streets and are probably more concerned with the fate of this country as well.

I’ve said this before that some jobs have to be done and they have to be done by people who want to do them. This is not a popular job to volunteer for especially under the Bush Administration. Nevertheless, it has to be done.

Tell the Wish media to fuck off and do what has to be done to protect me and my family from dangerous people inside or outside our borders.

For those of you really paranoid idiots, stop doing shady shit and you won’t have anything to worry about except that tape you made with your cousin when you were a kid.

The Toughest Cop In America Is My Hero Again!

I recently had the pleasure of listening to an interview between Roger Hedgecock and Sheriff Arpaio of Miracopa County. This man isn’t fucking around. He means business and his tactics work. What’s the unbelievable secret to his success?

He inforces the law!
What else?
That’s it.
There has to be more to it.
Nope!
That’s it.

Awe come on it can’t be that easy.
It is.

Seriously people, why is this such a mystery to congress, the president, the Wish Media, the pussies of our nation that are destroying it from within?

Walls are not necessary. Policies are not necessary.

We have laws to take car of all that shit, we just forgot about them and don’t enforce them.

Lock up illegals, lock up their employers and watch the mass migration back to Mexico or other than Mexico population.

Or continue to jack me off in the news and we’ll all speaky Spanish in about 20 years.

Treason From Within!

Let’s pretend you decided to spend your own time and money to do the job the lame duck administration and congress won’t do. With that I mean patrolling the borders as our patriots in the Minuteman Project have decided to do. Then let’s pretend that your own government for some strange reason was warning the law breakers in order to stop your progress and make you look like fools.

What would keep you from banging on the White House doors, pitchfork in hand and demanding an answer? I don’t really know the answer to that question. I also don’t know if there’s any truth to those claims, but something stinks here.

Obviously no one is interested in fixing this problem. What’s their motivation? The people have clearly spoken and have clearly been ignored. Anytime the people of this great Nation speak up in mass quantities as in this case and our government doesn’t hear us we need to speak a lot louder.

It truly is time for the silent majority to get off the shitter and start demanding action. Don’t wait till an election. There may be nothing but burritos in the grocery store by then.

Can you imagine how much a toilet will cost then?

Iran Tells Us To Fuck Off Again? What A Shocker!

In a letter the whole world was waiting to read between the President of the United States and the Fuckball that runs Iran or as I like to call it (International Parking Lot of the Middle East) no questions were answered regarding nuclear proliferation in Iran.

The sad part of this whole situation is knowing the end before it happens. We’ll get the answers to all the questions we’ve ever had one day in the future with the best fireworks display this nation has ever seen.

I’ve got my cooler full of beer and lawn chairs ready to go at a moments notice.

I don’t want to miss the show. I’ll also probably kidnap a hottie to rape just before impact. With any luck a Duke Lacrosse player will be close at hand with one at the ready.

Tax Cuts Spur Growth, Spending, Investment and Since Shit Rolls Down Hill;

Americans and politicians across the board are pissed at tax cuts, interests rate hikes and how it only benefits the rich. Let’s take a look at that shall we.

First off I’m sure most of you are familiar with the term “shit rolls down hill”. Well sometimes that can be good shit. The rich a.k.a. business owner bastards of the US have more money. Hmm, what should I do with all this extra money? I know since “it takes money to make money” why don’t I hire some more employees to do more work for my fat, white, sexist, racist, lazy, ass. Hopefully I haven’t forgotten any rich stereotypes.

Unemployment is holding steady at All-Time lows, the economy is holding steady at All-Time highs, there are more 1st and second time homeowners than ever before, there are more small business owners than ever before all the while tax cuts for only the rich.

Let’s further examine this idiocy! Drive around a rich person’s house and take inventory. Don’t get jealous, just put your tampon in and take the fucking inventory. They have a nice house, a couple of nice cars, cable and satellite TV, high speed internet, a landscaper, a couple of computers, a few pet’s, maybe a housekeeper, or babysitter and all the amenities a rich person can want. In fact they probably have and use or don’t even use the volume of more amenities and services than you do. 2 or three times as many.

Just like in your life, shit breaks and has to be fixed. Shit get’s old and needs to be replaced or you’re just tired of it and want a new one. You might wait until you have the money. A rich person doesn’t have to and usually won’t. Why? Because they can, my father taught me that one.

Even with all the tax cuts for only the wealthy the government made the second highest return on income tax payments in history. But, but, but how can that be. Let’s reflect again. Remember all the shit that rich bastard has and all the services he can afford. All the people he is paying to maintain his evil, rich, lifestyle have to report that income and pay taxes on it, therefore the more he spends the more the government gets and since he’s rich, he can afford to pay a lot of people a lot of money.

The government only wins when it makes it easier for rich people to spend their money. And for all of you people who think, the rich just hold on to their money, it kinda defeats the whole purpose of being rich and that’s the minority, not the majority. Even the stingiest of the stingiest want to own nice shit and pay for services they don’t want to do themselves.

The fact that a man with no high school diploma, with average intelligence, who grew up with no wealthy family members, no connections, no role models, in an environment subscribed to failure can get that and create a life completely opposite to his predetermined outcome and share this vision with you should be enough to get you thinking.

Although I am not rich by any stretch of the imagination, I believe it’s possible to be rich in the Greatest Country on Earth and once I get there, I would love to hire tons of people to do the things I don’t want to do or can’t do in order to make me richer.

Whaa, whaa, fucking whaa.

National Security Is A Joke. Just Ask Oscar.

Are you ok with the President’s millisecond-by-millisecond itinerary being thrown into a trashcan? Me either, unless of course you’re a terrorist or a Mexican, oops that’s the same thing. What would Jack Bower do?

I don’t know I don’t watch 24. Don’t get me wrong it’s a great show; I wish I would have started from the beginning. Maybe once I’m rich, I’ll by the entire DVD collection. Between the daily leaks of sensitive material and shit like this, I’m starting to think, we may have a problem.

Let’s get Keiffer off of 24 and into the White House to shake things up and stopp all the bullshit. I heard someone say this week, we need some Ronald Regan type cowboys back in power. Man is that right. We need someone to start pimp slappin’ motha fuckas and straightening shit out.

Whoever threw the sensitive material in the trash should be executed live on TV. That will put an end to that shit. Just a thought.

Kennedy’s Don’t Drink! Lies, All Lies!

So Ted Kennedy’s son also drinks. You just want me to believe that? What do I look like? What kind of fool do you think I am? And you want me to believe there is a cover up. That’s it, now you went too far.

There isn’t a Kennedy alive that would do something like that. Oh, wait that’s because they’re all dead. Well all except Ted, but there’s hope, I hear he pees himself. A Kennedy being drunk or covering something up is not news so take it off my TV.

When you have a story of a Kennedy not acting like a piece of shit, let me know.

Oil Prices Will Always Be High, Get Used To It Or Start Walking!

So oil prices are up again even though inventories are up. What does that mean?; Nothing. Nothings changed, nothing ever will. Oil prices have been contested since oil was invented, no matter what happens on the global stage oil prices raise as a result.

Someone farts in Saudi Arabia, prices go up, Bush says something, prices go up, Iran barks, prices go up, nothing happens, prices go up. Am I mad about it? Not really. Should you be mad about it? Not if you have a life.

Unless you’re personally going to invent something that makes oil useless without getting killed or bought off in the process, find something worthwhile to spend your efforts on.

Oil is in business to make as much money as possible, just like any other business. If you hate oil for that reason, you should hate every other business for the same reason or shut your pie hole.

Run Jeb, Run!

Jeb Bush has just received the kiss of death by his brother. Although I’m sure he means well, do you really think it’s a good idea for the most hated man on earth to endorse his brother for the next President of the United States? If his real plan is to not be shown up by his brother than it makes perfect sense.

George, as a Floridian I have come to really like Jeb over the years. He is the shit, he has balls, he speaks his mind, he speaks the language, he’s married to a hot latin chick, and he knows how to deal with disasters.

Don’t fuck it up for him. The best thing you can do is tell the Wish Media and the country that he’s an idiot and you wash your hands of him. The nation will vote for him in record numbers to spite you.

P.S. I may give you a hard time but I love ya. Now start killing illegal’s Pronto!

Behind Closed Doors Radio Show # 21

The theme for this weeks broadcast – Hate Cubed – Why we’ve decided to be the voice of “All Hate All The Time”.The theme for last weeks broadcast – United for Untied 93 – What Happens When We Stop Acting Like Pussies And Fight Back.

Behind Closed Doors will forever carry the torch for the All Spin Zone, Hate, Hate, Hate and laughing our balls off at anything and everything in pursuit of sustaining our sanity. In this world of non stop protesting and insulting of our President, you need someone to help you fell better and laugh at all the bullshit since it won’t be leaving anytime soon.

We’re here for you.

If you’re gonna rob me of some of my soul by listening to this show, then Hate or Love us right now at rolandoworld@gmail.com!

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EVERYBODY SAYS THIS STUFF; I JUST SAY IT OUT LOUD!

Illegal Bastards, Economic Terrorism & Cinco de Gallo

This past Monday the brown eye of the world was wide open for everyone to see. The illegal’s of the U.S. were gonna shut us down and show us how critical they were to the marketplace and Wall Street. I must have missed it. I didn’t feel a thing. Not so much as a ripple. In fact I unfortunately had to go to Wal-Mart on May day and the parking lot was half full. I got in and out in minutes for the first and only time.

In fact if every day could be may day, I could go to the post office and Wal-Mart and a gas station in a lunch break in stead of a couple of hours since these illegal bastards wouldn’t be in my way. We now know that Tyson Foods Inc, Perdue Farms, Cargill and construction companies had to shut down. This seems like a great place to start fining and imprisoning mother fuckers that hire illegal’s.

We obviously didn’t get the biggest roundup this Nation’s ever seen (Thanks G.W.), but we also saw a failed turnout of record numbers. There are a reported 11 to 12 million illegal’s in the country yet only about 1.1 million showed up to march, protest, demonstrate. That’s less than 10%. How many people missed work or school that day? I’m betting it was more than 1.1 million.

May Day is a symbol of communism and socialism and it’s perfectly fitting for what was on my TV on Monday. Thanks for being so stupid as to show America what you stupid uneducated illegal bastards are all about (the better than equal treatment of your select group of people) hence the definition of liberalism and democrat.

America is the American Dream because of capitalism, not liberalism or anything else. If it were up to the likes of your types we would have at least 3 constitutions (1 for whites, yellows and blacks) since each group wants its own set of rules. But wait it gets better.
Since blacks have the patent on the word nigger, racism and civil rights, there are now black leaders speaking out against illegal’s using civil rights language in their protests. Who didn’t see this coming. There actually afraid of losing ground on this issue since everyone will forget them and pay attention to only illegal bullshit.

Don’t worry black leaders, your bullshit is never far away from the minds of the American public. This what about me, what about my group is the exact same thinking that will be the doom of this everyone is welcomed nation. What’s their argument. We were oppressed first. You did this to my people, you did that to my people.

I didn’t do shit to you and nothing happened to you. Your people maybe, you definitely not. Give it a fucking rest. Live in the present. Why do I have to pay for what others in the past did? I don’t accept your offer, I’m not paying, go fuck yourself!

Yellow Cake Sucks!

Here’s a story that’s gonna surprise everyone. Iran told the U.N. to get fucked! This is what happens when you display having no backbone for years and years. People don’t give a shit what you say since you’re a pushover.

Iran is making nuclear weapons. You know it, I know it, Condoleeza and President Bush know it. The only question that remains is what will be done about it. I’m guessing nothing. It’s not that its not a threat it’s that the polls will be against it.

What’s it gonna take? 6/6/06 which is the supposed biblical ending of the world again. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I’ve heard this story my whole life.

Nothing Ever Is What It’s Cracked Up To Be!

Al-Zarqawi wears American tennis shoes and can’t fire a weapon. Who does this surprise? Stupid sheep. People who are asleep at the wheel and believe everything that is spoon fed to them because they are too lazy to do any research themselves. I’m not saying you can Google this shithead or go to a library and find this information, but to just sit there and be afraid of something because the Wish Media tells you to is ignorance at it’s finest.

In the immortal words of FDR in his first inaugural address (So, first of all, let me assert my firm belief that the only thing we have to fear is fear itself—nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror which paralyzes needed efforts to convert retreat into advance). We brought up last week during the United for United 93 show that fear is about the most useless emotion anyone can ever go through. It accomplishes nothing, fixes nothing and prevents possibility.

People who claim to hate us and everything about us wear our products. Why? People who claim to be better than us and rule over us and should be feared by us use our weapons and can’t fire them. Why?
Because they are completely full of shit. That’s why. I guess the fact that their fucking nuts doesn’t hurt either. I mean if you going to be a terrorist the formula is 90% full of shit and 10% crazy.

Be sane, have integrity and fuck these mother fuckers up.

I recently went to my first gun show in preparation for exercising what’s left of my Second Amendments rights and after looking around at all the extremely well armed middle Americans there I came to 1 conclusion.

Al-Queida should be way more afraid of Americans than we are of them. We are a well armed populous. Terrorists be ware. We’re not all pussies and there are a lot of us.

Where’s An Electroshock Ball Gag When You Need One?

Wacky Zachy lives or according to his breeder is going to die in little doses although not with the same meaning of Behind Closed Doors 20 year death sentence. America, you lost I won, God save Osama bin Ladin, blah, blah, blah. Why does this asshole get to speak?

Why can’t we strip him down and put an Electroshock Ball Gag in his mouth and run some extra cable to his nutsack and in his asshole. Every person in the courtroom get’s a trigger switch and fires at will. Whenever he feels like running his mouth, the absolute amount of voltage needed to make someone vomit goes through his most sacred parts.

His mom gets to clean it all off with her mouth when done. Listen to her comments on the whole ordeal and you’ll get it.

For some strange reason the French want him in France. I don’t think so. He could probably get your whole country to surrender to him in an afternoon. Let’s see, it’s the dumbest idea ever so I’m predicting it will come to be.

The jury was not convinced he should die. You know why. Cuz we’re a bunch of pussies. (sniff…………….) You can smell the tuna in the air.

Homeland Puberty

So this scumbag tries to have sex with a 14 year old using his Government cell phone, office phone, computer, and department I.D..

How on earth did they catch him? This guy has to be the dumbest mother fucker on earth. Everyone knows when you have sex with a minor 1st and foremost you have to be a teacher, preferably white and female. That is if you want to get away with it. This is a white people problem. When was the last time you saw a black teacher raping a student?

Somehow or another he was allowed to post bond and go back home to Maryland. With any luck he’ll commit suicide.

Where And How I Spend My Unfair Profits Is None Of Your God Damned Business!

Politicians are at it again. They want to make you think they are standing up for you, fighting the good fight and sticking it to the man. They are the man! Most of these people don’t pay for the gas in their cars if they even drive themselves anywhere and a great percentage of the price of gas is due to taxes they put into effect.

Now they are demanding that Exxon Mobil provide information on the $400 million dollar retirement package given to their former chairman. What business is it of yours Mr. Government? Last I checked, you just get in the way of companies making money with rules, regulations and taxes. The fact that he made the company so much money that they wish to reward him like this in spite of the non-stop obstacles you threw at him is a testament to how good he must be at his job.

Do the math. $400 million dollars divided by cars on the road just in the US, completely forgetting that Exxon Mobil is a global company with 70% of it’s profits coming from outside the US.

They gave him pennies. Go stand on a soap box on something that matters before public polls come out you bunch of pussies!

Get Your Illegal Ass In Jail Biatch!

One of the coolest stories of the week. A Sherriff’s Posse of 300 is rounding up illegal Mexican’s and locking them up. Why? They’re illegal. Sheriff Arpaio has actually put illegal’s in stripes and pink underwear in chain gangs in the past.

How cool is that? This is the Clint Eastwood I’m always looking for. He’s the man! He says if he turns the illegal’s over to the feds, they’ll just take them back to Mexico, but he’ll lock em’ up.

Attorney’s are actually filing lawsuit claiming what he’s doing is illegal since it’s the Federal Governments job to control the problem. Is everyone asleep here? They obviously don’t want the job, don’t do the job and don’t appear to be moving in that direction.

I hate lawyers and politicians. They all suck. Viva Anarchy! People unite!

What Do Marion Berry And Ray Nagin Have In Common? Stupidity And Followers.

Let me get this right. They want George Bush’s head on a plate, but this dumbass still has a job and people are listening to him.

Even after all the (FEMA failed us, Bush Failed us, This Administration Failed us, George Bush Doesn’t Like Black People) this guy has the nerve to tell New Orleans if the shit hits the fan, you’re on your own.

Listen Up Ray. If you would have told them that in the first place, you wouldn’t be losing your job in the next election. If you do however get to keep your job, New Orleans should be blown off the map or given to illegal immigrants and then blown off the map as the responsibility of the United Sates to eliminate the dumbest people in our society.

As The Defense Secretary, Shouldn’t You Be Able To Shoot People At Will?

People hate Donald Rumsfeld. What else is new? Whenever he speaks, protestors are there to spit out their hatred and name calling yet he doesn’t appear affected, just like Bush. What’s that all about?

It’s about history. And if you’d read a fucking history book once in a while you will quickly find out that almost all leaders are hated their whole lives. Be it jealousy, envy, stupidity, they’re all pretty much the same. Someone has to do shit other can’t or won’t. Someone has to play Monday morning Quarterback.

There are only 2 classes of people on earth. Leaders and followers. Leaders take unrelenting shit from the followers and later upon education inspire followers to become leaders.

It’s the fucked up circle of life.

People turn their back on Rumsfeld in silent protest, people ask why their son or daughter were killed in Iraq, Generals call for his resignation.

I have the reason for each of the things I just mentioned. Silent protest is something a follower would do. Speak up and be heard Jackass!

Your son or daughter was killed in Iraq because they were in the volunteer military! Next question!

And for you retired Generals that wish with everything you had that you were the Defense Secretary, YOUR NOT! NOW FUCK OFF SIR!

The End Is Near!

It is feared and rightly so that the congressional control of our nation will soon be in the hands of the most left wing Democratic party in history according to Senator Elizabeth Dole.

RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!

IT’S GONNA BE LIKE MONKEYS THROWING SHIT!

I try to find the good in everything, but there is no good here. With that I’m gonna commit suicide. Jeda will you please kill me? I still have God to deal with.

Behind Closed Doors Radio Show # 20

The theme for this weeks broadcast – United for United 93 – What Happens When We Stop Acting Like Pussies And Fight Back. The theme for last weeks broadcast – Double Standards – Why They Exist, Have Always Existed And Are Completely Necessary. Collin, & Rolando explore & review United93 the movie in full detail and try to describe what it was like, what it means to each of us and what we hope you take away from this unmissable, chronicle in American history.

If you’re gonna rob me of some of my soul by listening to this show, then Hate or Love us right now at rolandoworld@gmail.com!

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EVERYBODY SAYS THIS STUFF; I JUST SAY IT OUT LOUD!

Behind Closed Doors Radio Show # 19

The theme for this weeks broadcast – Double Standards – Why They Exist, Have Always Existed And Are Completely Necessary. The theme for last weeks broadcast – Read A Fucking History Book – The Only Crystal Ball Of The Future. Collin, Jeda & Rolando explore why our guest use pseudonyms, why Rolando doesn’t, Freedom of speech only exist if your not white or are white and complimenting someone, but not always then either, why fat people are fat, Why Natalie Holloway is on my TV, United 93 comes out Friday, our Lazy Listeners, and everything we could think of to drag the show out for 2 hours. Why are we so long winded?

If you’re gonna rob me of some of my soul by listening to this show, then Hate or Love us right now at rolandoworld@gmail.com!

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Behind Closed Doors
EVERYBODY SAYS THIS STUFF; I JUST SAY IT OUT LOUD!

Top 10 Things George W. Bush Can’t Be Blamed For This Week.

You have to listen to the Behind Closed Doors Radio Show to find out why our President Can’t be blamed for these items. Believe me, you’ll be happy you did. Send links of things George couldn’t possibly be blamed for to rolandoworld@gmail.com

Whacked Teacher of The Week.

You have to listen to the Behind Closed Doors Radio Show to find out who & why. Send links about Whacked Teachers to rolandoworld@gmail.com.

Useless Study of The Week.

You have to listen to the Behind Closed Doors Radio Show to find out what & why. Send links to useless studies to rolandoworld@gmail.com.

Story of Note.

You have to listen to the Behind Closed Doors Radio Show to find out what & why. Send links to useless studies to rolandoworld@gmail.com.

The Reviews Are In. Go Watch How To Not Be A Pussy!

Media and Wish Media all over the country has gotten a first glance of the United 93 movie that comes out next Friday. As with everything that comes out of this Blog and this Radio Show, once you put it out there, there’s no getting it back. I want to go on record to say that if you don’t go see this movie you are not an American.

As someone who does a tremendous amount of homework to figure out what it is to be an American, why America is so great and how it got this way, all signs lead to the point of this movie. Kill or be killed and stop whining like a little bitch.

I just watched Jarhead last night with my ex-wife and her reaction to our Marines was shock and disbelief in their eagerness to kill people and break their shit. I explained it to her like this. 1st and foremost be thankful that there are people like that willing to due the crazy shit no one else has the balls or stomach to do. Secondly, thank God there is a job for them to do just that.

I’m not saying all Marines are crazy. I’m saying all the marines I’ve met are and God Bless them all for that. There are jobs out there that have to be done by crazy people, fearless people, people who act in spite of public opinion polls, ridicule, and death.

If you got up today, fucked your secretary, cheated on your husband with the pool guy, had internet sex with an underage kid or anything else with no fear of terrorists bombing your ass to pieces, thank a soldier with a blowjob even if you’re a guy and go watch United 93 on Friday.

Send one of those annoying as hell chain letters to every person whose email address you’ve ever had and beg them to go see this movie.

The New Oxygen. But Not For Me.

As with almost everything we talk about, I’m torn on what to do about oil prices. Let me first explain that although oil prices are higher now dollar wise than they have ever been, they are historically not the highest they have ever been. Just as a 200,000 house in my neighborhood was only worth 40,000 in the eighties the value of oil and everything else fluctuates.

I want oil companies and every other company to make as much money as they can as fast as they can as long as their business practices are legal and ethical. I also don’t like spending $75.00 in gas on my 4 runner. What can I do? Well, I really can’t control how much it cost to fill my tank. I can control how much driving I do and so can you to some degree.

As a business owner, I generally don’t leave my office unless I’m billing someone. When billing someone, I generally want to make as much money as I can as fast as I can with business practices that are legal and ethical.

I’m not much of a hypocrite so I figure, if you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the problem. With that in mind I have not 1 but 2 properties that are in the dead center of town. 1st off, I hate driving, it makes me want to kill people on the roads, and secondly I hate driving, it makes me want to kill people on the roads, and thirdly who wants to drive 30 or forty minutes to go anywhere unless your in a convertible getting head by some hot whore?

I have also been scouting my neighborhood for weeks for safe ways to get to the grocery store, downtown and the entertainment districts in my city on my new bike I just bought. Now if I can just keep people from stealing my new bike. I’m also registered for a concealed weapons permit course next month. That should help with the stealing. Either that or someone’s gonna stick my own gun up my ass.

The point is supply and demand. As 1 person with a bike, I can’t make much of a difference. As a guy with a Podcast and a Blog, I can try to reach people and hope they spread the word. As a Board Member of my Chamber of Commerce I can try to persuade my city leaders to do something about safe, alternative transportation for my city since we are way behind.

If Big Oil can provide a convertible with some hot whore giving me head by all means charge me whatever you want for gas.

The Rule Of Law Returns, If Only For A Moment!

You know what I love most about rounding up illegal aliens and the scumholes that employ them? The rounding up part. It’s so American. We are notorious for rounding up groups of people and fucking them in the ass. I don’t think there’ll be much sodomy in this situation, but one can always hope.

Some of you may be aware that May Day is coming up when Illegal’s are gonna stand together and flex their muscle on American industry. God, please let that be the largest roundup America has ever seen. If it’s not too much to ask, a giant sodomy party as well. I’m just asking. This is not just an immigrant thing; this is a lesson about America.

Like last weeks theme, Read A Fucking History Book, history has proven time and time again that unions don’t work, don’t last and don’t serve anybody, not even the union. Oh, sure for a while the union gets off, and then the guy getting fucked by his own company goes under or moves his operation. Mexicans and illegals alike aren’t serving their cause using outdated antiquated tactics of unions.

When are brown people everywhere going to realize, you can’t bully the rich, white man. It may seem like it on TV and Newspapers, but Behind Closed Doors where the shit really matters, nothing changes.

In the immortal words of me to my Older, Black, Democrat, Teacher, Ex-Girlfriend “Play the game or get the fuck off the field”.

Fuck Hu! Now That’s America Biatch!

How cool was it to see a Chinese woman cussing out Chinese President Hu Jintao without getting murdered on the spot and for someone to be yelling rude comments to the leader of a Nation that wasn’t George Bush?

I may give George Bush a hard time sometimes on this Blog or our weekly radio show, but I would never do it in public. It’s not because I’m afraid, it’s because my mom did a great job of raising me with some common sense and class. If I were able to have a private meeting with George Bush I would give him the respect the Office of the Presidency deserves, but I would share a piece of my mind with him and I probably would live to tell about it.

Not so with China. Wenyi Wang is probably living on borrowed time as we speak. China has always been a brutal dictatorship with absolute control over every aspect of Chinese life and probably will be for some time.

Although she went about this the wrong way, this lady has balls and balls I can respect. Especially since mine get smaller every day. I think I will try to contact her the next time I need to use my balls. Borrow some balls of your own at borrowsomeballs.com.

Rape Is In The Job Description!

Why is a stripper getting rapped on my TV? How is this news or newsworthy? It seems more like a Forgone or Obligatory conclusion just as me cuming while jerking off on your back is. It’s an end to a means or visa versa.

I don’t care if rich white kids or poor black kids hired this slut. If you are a stripper who does private parties, you’re a whore. Call it what you want, I’ll call it whore. And what happens to Whores? They get fucked. Whether the fucking is voluntary or forced is irrelevant since you’re volunteering to be naked with a group of horney men.

You don’t want to get eaten, don’t jump in the lion cage at the zoo. Then we have to hear all the stupid stories of the girl working to put herself through college or feed her kids. Who gives a fuck? Who isn’t working to pay for something or feed their kids?

I’m so sick of stupid bitches ending up rapped or dead and monopolizing my news. I want to know about real problems of the world, not personal stupidity.

If we are going to focus on stupid people than I say let’s launch the dumbass network. The news program should be called shit that happened to you cuz you’re a dumb fuck. We can move about 90% of the news on TV to that network and I don’t have to see it. I’ll block the channel.

Wacky Zachy’s Mom Speaks Up!

Zachy’s mom states that the trial of Zacharias Mousoui is just another Dog and Pony show of America to put a face on terror and that her son should not be put to death since he was in jail at the time of 9/11 and couldn’t have taken part in it and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah – Shut your fucking hole!

Who cares if Wacky Zachy was involved? Who cares if Sami al-Arian funded anything, who gives a shit if Saddam had anything to do with 9/11? Fucking Nut Cases, that’s who. The Wacko Douchebag Pussies who want to be everybody’s friend and find out what their motivation for their actions were.

Let’s go back for just a minute when you were a kid and a bully kept fucking with you. Did you want to know why or did you want him dead? I’m betting on dead. If not, your fucking nuts and you need to get your pussy ass out of America and go lick Osamas balls to get on his good side so he can chop your fucking head off right as he’s cumming.

Don’t believe it, go try it. Stand up for your retarded thoughts and go reason with these psychos. Fundamentalists are fucking crazy, not religious, crazy. They don’t want to be reasoned with or dealt with. They want you and everything you stand for killed and if you keep acting like a pussy, they’re gonna get their wish.

They are just as afraid of us as we are of them, but they back up their talk with action while we sit, analyze and cry.

Behind Closed Doors Radio Show # 18

The theme for this weeks broadcast – Read A Fucking History Book – The Only Crystal Ball Of The Future. The theme for last weeks broadcast – Embrace Racism – The Only Real Weapon Of Mass Destruction. Collin, Jeda & Rolando explore Hate or Love Mail,
My Beef with Jeda - Explaining The Magic, My Beef with Collin - Were you afraid to be here last week?, Easter - The meaning, Asshole Police – the one that yelled at me for parking in front of my own house, If you have common sense and you hang around the average American you are psychic, United 93 Movie, 10 Days that Unexpectedly Changed America, Bush’s approval rating at all time low, Indians wiped out mostly by disease – then we finished them off and a bunch of other shit in an epic almost 2 hour episode.

If you’re gonna rob me of some of my soul by listening to this show, then Hate or Love us right now at rolandoworld@gmail.com!

Keywords:

BCDisms Created:

Vote for Behind Closed Doors at Podcast Alley!

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Behind Closed Doors
EVERYBODY SAYS THIS STUFF; I JUST SAY IT OUT LOUD!

Top 10 Things George W. Bush Can’t Be Blamed For This Week.

You have to listen to the Behind Closed Doors Radio Show to find out why our President Can’t be blamed for these items. Believe me, you’ll be happy you did. Send links of things George couldn’t possibly be blamed for to rolandoworld@gmail.com

Whacked Teacher of The Week.

You have to listen to the Behind Closed Doors Radio Show to find out what & why. Send links about Whacked Teachers to rolandoworld@gmail.com.

Useless Study of The Week.

You have to listen to the Behind Closed Doors Radio Show to find out what & why. Send links to useless studies to rolandoworld@gmail.com.

Gospel of Judas Found 2 Weeks Before Easter. Here Comes The Apocalypse!

I am not much of a conspiracy theorists, but you gotta admit these are strange times we’re livin’ in. Forget conspiracies. Fact happens to be stranger than fiction right now. Iraq is outta control, Israel wants to take them out, Iran is challenging us to a third World War which would mostly involve nukes, China & N. Korea want to use nukes, the Mexicans are fucking nuts, and underneath it all is a growing population “the sleeping giant” of Americans who are sick and tired of 3rd world, 3rd class populations threatening the most powerful entity on earth, Americans.

Notice, I did not say America, I said Americans. There is a huge difference. We used to be known as The Melting Pot, we’re getting the reputation as The Cess Pool. Not quite as flattering. In our noble attempts to be the sympathetic social worker to the world we have opened our wallets our borders our troops and virgins to anyone and everyone even if you hate us and everything we stand for.

I don’t know about you, but I have been ready to close my wallet and my border for quite a while. One of the local radio talk show guys here in Tampa Todd Schnitt keeps pounding “build a wall” down my throat and I can’t fucking stand it. It’s too fucking expensive, it’s too time consuming and it won’t work. If anyone on earth has a compelling reason for building a wall, I would love to hear it. America is notorious for attempting to tackle problems by putting a band aid on it. Grow some balls and stop the problem at the source.

Make it impossible for someone to hire and employ illegal immigrants. A wall would be a great idea if you could have it up by tomorrow and it was manned with armed snipers stationed every 100 feet with orders to shoot on site and it didn’t bankrupt America to build and man it. Fuck the stupid wall and start fucking people willing to put profit over getting this country back. We may not have lost it yet, but we’re on the way.

And for those of you talking about $4.00 oranges and everything else price will go up on, I will personally stop eating oranges and everything else I can’t afford to get this country back. All you farmers have to do is sell your farm, move your operations to some dirt poor country and bring the shit back to sell for the same price at a higher profit. Or find something else to do. I don’t give a shit what you do, but threatening that fruits and vegetables will be too expensive or no one will pick them unless we allow our country to be taken over and taken hostage by foreigners is about as Un-American as it gets.

I may change my mind on this issue. I have changed my mind on many things in my life as long as a viable alternative is presented. Maybe the government could subsidize farming with all the money we give away to illegals. That’s really what you would like to see isn’t it?

What does this have to do with Easter and the Gospel of Judas? Easter marks the celebration of the resurrection of Jesus. In fact Easter Day is also called Sunday of the Resurrection where still allowed (not many places). The Gospel of Judas depicts Judas as Jesus’ favored disciple after centuries of being seen as his mortal enemy. Maybe America is not and has never been the mortal enemy of the world and after Jesus wipes us off the face of the earth the world will finally recognize that.

1 thing is for certain. The end is coming!

Iran, Meet Japan, Japan Meet Iran. This Is A History Lesson.

I recently had the opportunity to watch 1 part of a 10 part series on the History Channel called the 10 Days that Unexpectedly Changed America. This particular episode was called Einstein’s Letter. Einstein had to sign 3 letters written by (Leo Szilard) the man who invented nuclear fission to pass along to President Roosevelt. The letters were aimed at urging America to get moving and fund nuclear weapons research and beat Hitler to the punch.

The scenario of the story was extremely similar to where we are now. America thought Germany was really close to having the bomb, but not sure. Germany thought America would never get it first. Leo was very disturbed about discovering how to make the bomb. He and longtime pacifist Albert Einstein knew there was only 1 choice. America must make the bomb first or be killed by the bomb for sitting on its hands.

America has sat on its hands for a long, long time. 9/11 hasn’t even waken us up. Instead of small amounts of immediate and severe retaliation to correct problems of the past, present & future we may be headed towards a day of massive action such as Hiroshima to correct problems which could have been dealt with on a much smaller scale.

No one in their right mind wants to use a nuke. 1 problem. Iran isn’t in its right mind. Why wait till its too late. Send in secret forces to whack their leaders and start over. Call it an accident, call it whatever you want, just don’t call it winter.

Where The Hell’s Clint Eastwood When You Need Him?

What a Country. We will fight to murderers alive even when they want to die. Zacarias wants to die. He wants to be a martyr. He says “make my day” when asked about a Navy Lt. crying while giving her testimony about her subordinates dying.

I say we make his day. Give him what he asks for. After all, we are the land of opportunity. Where do we get these pussy ass defense attorneys who want to keep him alive so he can’t be a martyr? Who the fuck cares if he’s a martyr? He’s only a martyr to whacked out assholes just like him. He’s not a martyr to anyone that matters. I don’t think God will be to impressed with his resume.

What I wouldn’t give to see President Bush march into the court room with an American made hand gun and say, “Ok punk I’m making your day” and shoot this fucker right between the eyes. Let’s face facts. At this stage in the game nothing of a positive nature can bring Bush’s poll numbers back from the depths of the hell, not a roaring economy, not record low unemployment, not record home ownership, not record self employment. NOTHING!!! He might as well do every fucked up thing he can come up with.

Fortunately for him, I have come up with a to do list.

Find Monica Lewinsky, fuck her in the ass on the Oval Office desk while an illegal immigrant picks the $4.00 dingle berries out of his ass. I want him to use his other hand to beat Condoleezza Rice with a bull whip while she smokes the cigar that was just pulled out of Monica’s Cunt. How’s that for an oxymoron? While you’re at it, jump the fence and become a Democrat. Wait do that last step first. It’s your only chance at positive poll numbers.

Mexicans Should Rise Up & Fight Back – In Fucking Mexico!

Every accomplishment in life comes at a price. That price is usually hard work and perseverance. I have seen the signs, I have heard the sound bytes “Brown and Proud”. “Today we march; tomorrow, we vote”, “We do the hard work here”, “If you deport me, who will build the wall”, “Every Hispanic has to stand up”.

Well as a Hispanic, I couldn’t agree with you more. You do need to stand up, be proud and take the battle to the enemy but, America is not the enemy. Mexico, Cuba, Columbia, El Salvador and every other shit hole you came from is. Go back to your own fucking country and demand to live like a Mexican, Cuban, Columbian, El Salvadoran or whatever.

People are screaming that it’s unfair to risk everything to come hear and live in fear of being sent back. No one asked you to come hear in the first place and life ain’t fair. If it were we wouldn’t need the Minutemen. Armed civilians are forced spend time away from their families and sit on the border to do the job the American Government.
There are steps to everything. I had to work for other businesses for 17 years before I learned the tools necessary to start my own business. I had to pull shitty overnight shifts as a radio DJ before getting prime time slots. I currently have to and will continue to have to write my ass off to perform stand up comedy for free and sometimes have to pay to perform for about 10 years before I can even hope to make any money doing it.

Illegal’s want to bypass all the steps and jump right to the front of the line and you want my sympathy. Fuck you. Do you know how many stinky, skanky, ugly, fat, toothless whores a male porn star has to fuck to get to the talent? That’s determination. That’s the American way. Pay your fucking dues or take your country back because you can’t have mine.

Bush Balls Lost Again.

I see opportunities all over the place for Bush to get back in the good graces of the American public beside the steps mentioned above.

Asked this week if the US would use tactical nuclear weapons against Iran, his answer was that’s “Wild Speculation”. Ok, you don’t have to say yes or definitely, but how about maybe, if it’s necessary or better yet, why not?

It’s over. Your numbers suck. You have no reason to be nice, politically correct or a pussy. It get’s harder every week to defend your actions. I decided a few years ago that I am a Republican, I am a conservative, I am old fashioned and I don’t give a shit who likes it or not. We have not mentioned that before on any other show because I try not to bring things up unless they have a point.

The point is here. A lot of people voted for you based on what they believed your principles and policies would be. I am one of those people. You have done a great job in many areas as I always try to point out, but I want and demand perfection from my President. Why? You volunteered for the job.

I used to feel sorry for you, but I now realize how wrong that is. It goes against everything that is American. When you decide to be a President or anything else, you also volunteer for everything that comes with it including harsh criticism from the people who love you.

As an American it makes me sick to my stomach to hear foreign leaders talk shit about the US only to get a pussified rebuttle if any at all from my leader. Stand up and act like a leader. When someone threatens us, tell them you will kill them and break their shit then do it.

Political Correctness is going to get us all killed.

Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall! - Ring any bells?

Behind Closed Doors Radio Show # 17

The theme for this weeks broadcast – Embrace Racism – The Only Real Weapon Of Mass Destruction! “All Hate All The Time” is the key to America’s Survival. Collin was M.I.A., Jeda bangs chicks tied to a cross, Turn your hate into laughter, Tony Montana in the Studio, Tony Takes care of some Business, Black people Diminish their own cause, You Don’t Need a Wall, Armed People on the Fucking Streets, That Card has No Value, Another Category of People I Hate, Fuck Those Mother Fuckers, A Dis-Service To The Minority their Trying to Help, There’s Like A Whole ArtForm To Not Answering Questions Now, Everybody Else Die!. If you’re gonna rob me of some of my soul by listening to this show, then Hate or Love us right now at rolandoworld@gmail.com!

Keywords: Racism, Jihad, Bell Tower, Whitey, Wet Foot – Dry Foot, Cynthia McKinney, Boy, Armed Populous, Whack Felons, Old White Businessman, Chano Pozo, United 93 Movie

BCDisms Created: All Hate All The Time, Gallons per Mexican, Radiation of Triangulation, Chower, Americon Dream, Pro-Hate, Garden Variety Racism, Slave Schmave, Jourope, Inchurance, Evil Natural Law Party, A Hand Full of Gimme and a Mouth Full of Much Obliged, Cuban on Cuban Action, Night Chift, Espic, Chopping List, Escotch, Food Estamps, Cachier, Happy Fluffy Bunny Party, Del Mebrys, Estay here, Esmart, CGI Tongue, Lawyers 9 Deep, Chicano Ass, Economicism, Intelligism, Corn Food

Evil Natural Law Party Top 10 Platforms

1. Arm The Populous
2. Whack The Felons
3. Fuck Them Until They Learn To Like It
4. All Lies All The Time
5. Your Not Entitled To Shit
6. Bitches Get In, Suck Dick Now
7. Principle of Racial Boomerang
8. Clean Up Your Own Fucking House
9. Grind The Lowest Common Denominator
10. --------Working on # 10

Party Slogan: Fuck Me, Fuck You, Fuck Me, Fuck You

Check out the Show, tell your friends about it, leave comments or email, listen together and argue about it.

Behind Closed Doors
EVERYBODY SAYS THIS STUFF; I JUST SAY IT OUT LOUD!

Behind Closed Doors Radio Show # 16

The theme for this weeks broadcast - Picking Mexicans – The Rotten Fruit of Our Nation! I hate Mexicans as much as I hate the French. There were no extra curricular stories about Redneck Spring Break or anything else so we jumped right into my headaches. Daylight Savings time is tomorrow so change your shit. If you’re gonna rob me of some of my soul by listening to this show, then Hate or Love us right now at rolandoworld@gmail.com!

Keywords: Mexican American Political Association President (Nativo Lopez), Representative (Dana Rohrabacher), Iranian Missiles, Released 911 Tapes, Zacarias Mousssaoui, Osama Bin Laden, Andy Card, Joshua B. Bolten, Jack Abramoff, Delphi, GM, Nevada Blasting, Jill Carroll

BCDisms Created: MexiFuck, MexiWhore, GayMonger, FreMexiFuck, Evil Natural Law Party, Happy Fluffy Bunny Party

Check out the Show, tell your friends about it, leave comments or email, listen together and argue about it.

Behind Closed Doors
EVERYBODY SAYS THIS STUFF; I JUST SAY IT OUT LOUD!

Top 10 Things George W. Bush Can Be Blamed For This Week.

He’s Pissing Me Off With Immigration This Week So These Things Are His Fault.

10. City Sized Ice Berg Created – Damn Global Warming!
9. FEC Let’s Web Slide
8. Joey Gets Divorced
7. Liza Sick Of Sex – I’m Sick Thinking About Liza And Sex
6. Brokeback A No Go In Bahamas
5. Naomi Campbell Strikes Again
4. Hooters Air Goes Belly Up – I Prefer Ass Up
3. Wacko Living At Wal-Mart
2. Sharon Stone Advocating Blowjobs And Pussy Eating
1. Whitney Broke And Addicted To Crack

You have to listen to the Behind Closed Doors Radio Show to find out why our President Can be blamed for these items. Believe me, you’ll be happy you did. Send links of things George couldn’t possibly be blamed for to rolandoworld@gmail.com

Whacked Teacher of The Week.

You have to listen to the Behind Closed Doors Radio Show to find out what & why. Send links about Whacked Teachers to rolandoworld@gmail.com.

Useless Study of The Week.

You have to listen to the Behind Closed Doors Radio Show to find out what & why. Send links to useless studies to rolandoworld@gmail.com.

Burrito Bake Coming Your Way!

If you’ve ever wanted a chance to really take care of the illegal immigrant problem we have in this country, your greatest opportunity is coming and we have a month to plan for it. On May 1st 2006 operation May Day will be in effect. It is explained by Mexican American Political Association President (Nativo Lopez) “A Day Without Latinos” which will send a strong message to Washington.

That message should be to get the Napalm ready. The balls it takes to stop working across the country& block freeways to show your value to this country is ludicrous. You are here illegally! I am here by the grace of God. Get in line, shut your hole, pull down your flag not ours & behave accordingly or be melted into the pavement. After all this is the melting pot. Seems appropriate to me.

In probably the sweetest words I’ve ever heard a politician utter in my life (Representative Dana Rohrabacher) of California said “Let the prisoners pick the fruits”! Amen brother, in fact why stop there. Let’s change the vocabulary. Make the prisoners do it. Make them do every crappy job the Americans don’t want to do.

If illegals really are here for our healthcare, schools and every other government handout, they can get all that and more in prison and since they’ll be wardens of the state, states will be fighting to get more illegal immigrants to do the work Americans don’t want any part of. Make them do everything that cost tax payers billions of dollars a year; highway construction, city clean-up, Iraq war, make these unappreciative ballsey assholes do it all As far as I can tell everyone wins in that situation. Except President Bush who is acting like a total pussy on this issue.

I know you want Republicans in the White House after your gone. What if there is no White House after you’re gone. It won’t much matter then, will it?

Iran Should Be Testing Fallout Shelters Instead Of Missiles.

I think more balls than brains should be the theme for this weeks news items. Leading the pack of stupidity once again is Iran. Not only are they testing stealthy, radar avoiding, anti-missile avoiding – missiles, but they are telling us about it at the same time. Why don’t we just whack these fuckers before it’s too late.

I hate when people play Monday Morning Quarterback! That’s what the cockroaches are gonna be doing if we get this one wrong since they and Keith Richards will be the only living things left.

Iran claims they’re Uranium enrichment program is peaceful. I hate pointing out the obvious here, but nothing Iran does or says is ever peaceful. Although they did come out this week and say they won’t use oil as a weapon on this issue. You know why? The oil we and the rest of the world buy from them will finance them killing us and everyone else.

How’s that for irony?

Conspiracy Theorists Beware, Reality Coming Your Way.

Tapes of 911 calls made from people trapped in the world trade center are being released. What those tapes will prove or disprove is anyone’s guess. There are so many theories out there and there always will be. I’m about to take a very unpopular side on this debate. It’s not only on this debate, but almost every debate or scandal that has plagued or will plague this country.

There are people in this world who have to do the jobs no one wants to do or know about. These people are in every sector of this country, from the top of the political food chain to the bottom of the workforce. These jobs have to be done whether you like it or not. These jobs have to be secret whether you like it or not.

The general public is not capable of dealing with this information. The general public wouldn’t know what to do in these situations, the general public does not and should not have the information needed to deal with these issues. Anyone not in the position of these people who thinks they have a right to know is a moron.

The people who founded the greatest country in the world did so in secrecy, breaking laws and destroying the lives of themselves and their families as well. Most of these rich politicians died in jail and or penniless. The right to knowers of the world would have stopped them dead in their tracks if they had the information.

I’ve seen the same footage and read the same reports as you. I haven’t seen any compelling evidence of a plane crash at the pentagon or in the field in Pennsylvania and I don’t care. If the people with better information than I thought it was necessary to shoot down a plane or make up a story, it must have been. Sometimes you just have to have a little faith.

Vote for someone with character and hope they do what’s right. It really is the best you can do. Even with all the scrutiny by the media the leaders get today, do we ever really know the truth about anything? Hoffa, JFK, Marilynn Monroe’s death and a million other things have been researched and investigated to death and still the world wonders what happened.

Moussaoui Lied? No Shit?

The world was shocked and rocked this week to find out our beloved, innocent, wrongfully persecuted Zacarias Moussaoui lied about his knowledge and involvement for the 911 attacks. And who says there not a case for torturing suspects?

I think if there ever were a reason for wire taps, torture or anything else the pussies of America are against, this guys picture should be on the billboard. Duped by Dumbasses. How about that for a new Anti-Terrorism Billboard.

But wait, there’s more. In order for Americas # 1 asshole of the moment to get the death penalty prosecuters must prove that his lies led to at least 1 death on 911.

Excuse me, Michael Moore, I need To Borrow Some Footage from Fahrenheit Go Fuck Yourself. Dickhead.

Promises Promises. Lick My Balls Democrats.

So you’re gonna go after Osama. Why would you do that? He’s not even the reason we went to war. It’s the oil. Just forget Osama and go get that. As Harry Reid points out, George Bush has failed to deliver real national security. I don’t know where he lives, but my country hasn’t been attacked in almost 5 years.

Fantasy land allows for omissions of the obvious which democrats are notorious for. I would love nothing more than for someone to use any and all means to bring that evil bastard to death as fast as humanly possible. There’s only one problem. The Democrats who will reclaim the National Security Issue they’re violently opposed to don’t have any plan. No plan for keeping us safer than we already are and no plan for capturing Osama.

The only plan they do have is to wait and see what George W. Bush and his administration are going to do so they can put it down from every conceivable angle without taking any real action or solving any real problems. Monday Morning Quarterbacks belong on the sideline which is exactly where their party has been for years.

Bush Balls Shake Up In Your Face! Republicans Suck Too!

Republicans are running from Bush as fast if not faster than Democrats. No matter what decision George makes the wish media, the liberals and the republicans are pissed. He couldn’t win if everyone in the country, legal or illegal, black or white, old or young woke up with a million dollars in their account they didn’t have to give back. George Bush is a lot like Christ in that respect.

Andy Card is out and Joshua B. Bolton is in. Why? That’s what he wanted to do. If for no other reason, you have to respect the fact that our president for the most part does what he thinks he should do, what he believes is right and what he is going to due in spite of what everyone else thinks about it. Someone has to do it or else what worthwhile story would you put in history books?

Jackmeoff By Abramoff.